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i need advice asap!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 678997" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Soooootired, I am in the same situation. My daughter and three grands live with her boyfriend /"baby daddy." He can be extremely abusive. The same "crisis" mentality phone calls worked me into a frenzy for <em>years. </em></p><p>I finally realized after her last ugly exodus five months ago, that I am not equipped to help her, or my grands.</p><p>I also figured out that she had been using my grands as pawns, all along using our love for them to keep us involved.</p><p></p><p>This is what I decided.</p><p>If she calls again with a similar story to your daughters, </p><p>I will call 911 and I will call CPS.</p><p></p><p>I am not equipped to deal with this problem. </p><p></p><p>When police get DV calls they <em>routinely send several units because of the risk.</em> </p><p></p><p>Do not go there. Call 911.</p><p></p><p> Call CPS. </p><p></p><p>They will investigate. They will most likely drug test. Your daughter will have to go to counseling. If she tests positive, she will have to either go to rehab, or be tested weekly. This happened to my daughter.</p><p></p><p>I will not allow my daughter to live in my home.</p><p>I will tell her to go to a domestic abuse shelter. There, she can get counseling and so can my grandbabies. They need it. She can get job training.</p><p></p><p>At my house, none of this would happen. I endanger myself because her boyfriend comes over. They fight. There is drama and chaos. SHE chooses to live this way. </p><p></p><p>I do not have to.</p><p></p><p>You are not the only person who can help your daughter. It is easier for them to live in our homes because they will not follow rules. </p><p>In a DV shelter, there are rules. </p><p>They do not like rules.</p><p></p><p>Slow.....way......down. </p><p>Breathe, think about what is happening. Your daughter is pulling at your heartstrings and <em>using you</em>. </p><p>This is not fair or right. </p><p>She is trying to draw you into her drama so that you will run at the snap of her fingers. This is unacceptable.</p><p></p><p>It is hard, we do not want to see our kids or grands in harms way.</p><p> It is not our responsibility to be the savior. There are agencies who can step in.</p><p></p><p>Step back and think.</p><p></p><p>I agree with what the others have advised, do not go to the house.</p><p> Call authorities. </p><p>It is the right thing to do.</p><p>One day, I may be asking the same question. </p><p></p><p>I hope you will remind me to do the same.</p><p></p><p>You can do this, you are not alone, we are all here.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 678997, member: 19522"] Soooootired, I am in the same situation. My daughter and three grands live with her boyfriend /"baby daddy." He can be extremely abusive. The same "crisis" mentality phone calls worked me into a frenzy for [I]years. [/I] I finally realized after her last ugly exodus five months ago, that I am not equipped to help her, or my grands. I also figured out that she had been using my grands as pawns, all along using our love for them to keep us involved. This is what I decided. If she calls again with a similar story to your daughters, I will call 911 and I will call CPS. I am not equipped to deal with this problem. When police get DV calls they [I]routinely send several units because of the risk.[/I] Do not go there. Call 911. Call CPS. They will investigate. They will most likely drug test. Your daughter will have to go to counseling. If she tests positive, she will have to either go to rehab, or be tested weekly. This happened to my daughter. I will not allow my daughter to live in my home. I will tell her to go to a domestic abuse shelter. There, she can get counseling and so can my grandbabies. They need it. She can get job training. At my house, none of this would happen. I endanger myself because her boyfriend comes over. They fight. There is drama and chaos. SHE chooses to live this way. I do not have to. You are not the only person who can help your daughter. It is easier for them to live in our homes because they will not follow rules. In a DV shelter, there are rules. They do not like rules. Slow.....way......down. Breathe, think about what is happening. Your daughter is pulling at your heartstrings and [I]using you[/I]. This is not fair or right. She is trying to draw you into her drama so that you will run at the snap of her fingers. This is unacceptable. It is hard, we do not want to see our kids or grands in harms way. It is not our responsibility to be the savior. There are agencies who can step in. Step back and think. I agree with what the others have advised, do not go to the house. Call authorities. It is the right thing to do. One day, I may be asking the same question. I hope you will remind me to do the same. You can do this, you are not alone, we are all here. (((Hugs))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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