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i need advice asap!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 679005" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Yes Soooootired, you are correct, you are being primed. Greased. It is a pattern.</p><p> Until we change our response, their pattern does not change. They begin to have <em><strong>expectations</strong></em> of us. WE become more responsible for their problems, than they are. </p><p>This is not right. </p><p>They are adults.</p><p>In fact my daughter reminded me of that. " I am an adult, I will do what I want." </p><p>I said</p><p> "Not in my house."</p><p>It took me awhile to see all of this Soootired, my head was so spun around and my heart so broken by what was happening that I could not think straight.</p><p></p><p>We have to be able to think straight, stand on our feet. We are battle weary. Soldiers take R and R. Are you able to get away and relax?</p><p> It is imperative my friend. </p><p>I know how heart wrenching all of this is. </p><p>But you know what? Our daughters are very clever. They know just what to say and just where to get us. </p><p>So, we need to be even smarter. Build yourself up, strengthen yourself. Understand your role, you have <em>done your parenting. </em></p><p>You have probably talked to her until you are blue in the face, to no avail. </p><p>Been there, done that.</p><p>I think after awhile we sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown to them, Remember "wahwahwahwahwah....."</p><p>Sooooootired, you will be okay. </p><p>We will be each other's back up. </p><p>Some day, one day, I will get that phone call and I will be needing you to give me a swift kick in the butt.</p><p></p><p>Promise me you will kick my butt, Soootired.</p><p> I will need to be on my guard. </p><p>You too. </p><p>Put on your shield.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/warriorsmiley.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":warriorsmiley:" title="warriorsmiley :warriorsmiley:" data-shortname=":warriorsmiley:" /></p><p>We are both warriors, sisters in arms.</p><p>Build yourself up and learn all you can. </p><p>I will too. </p><p>Bolster your armory, so the next time you get a call, you are ready. </p><p>I will too. </p><p>I am rooting for us. </p><p>We will no longer be dragged around by our daughters. </p><p>We can do this.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 679005, member: 19522"] Yes Soooootired, you are correct, you are being primed. Greased. It is a pattern. Until we change our response, their pattern does not change. They begin to have [I][B]expectations[/B][/I] of us. WE become more responsible for their problems, than they are. This is not right. They are adults. In fact my daughter reminded me of that. " I am an adult, I will do what I want." I said "Not in my house." It took me awhile to see all of this Soootired, my head was so spun around and my heart so broken by what was happening that I could not think straight. We have to be able to think straight, stand on our feet. We are battle weary. Soldiers take R and R. Are you able to get away and relax? It is imperative my friend. I know how heart wrenching all of this is. But you know what? Our daughters are very clever. They know just what to say and just where to get us. So, we need to be even smarter. Build yourself up, strengthen yourself. Understand your role, you have [I]done your parenting. [/I] You have probably talked to her until you are blue in the face, to no avail. Been there, done that. I think after awhile we sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown to them, Remember "wahwahwahwahwah....." Sooooootired, you will be okay. We will be each other's back up. Some day, one day, I will get that phone call and I will be needing you to give me a swift kick in the butt. Promise me you will kick my butt, Soootired. I will need to be on my guard. You too. Put on your shield. :warriorsmiley: We are both warriors, sisters in arms. Build yourself up and learn all you can. I will too. Bolster your armory, so the next time you get a call, you are ready. I will too. I am rooting for us. We will no longer be dragged around by our daughters. We can do this. (((Hugs))) leafy :hugs: [/QUOTE]
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