I just want to hug
her and shake her at the same time.
Her biological father walked out before she was born and has never had anything to do with her.
we keep telling her that she will get there but she needs to do the work to get there.
One of the things that upset me the most is, is that when she was in high school and after her friendsdied she dedicated herself to suicide awareness. She went as far as to take classes to become a certified gate keeper and this title gives her the ability to go to schools to talk to teachers, consolers and students about suicide. Her senior year she was picked as one of the states top 10 students of the year for this. She is still asked to come to schools to speak.
The sadist thing she ever said to me was that she didn't feel worthy of the help.
She has such low self esteem and low self worth.
I do know that she smokes pot
You have said something very important here: I know she is manipulating meShe is never home. when she does come home she makes sure she does it when my husband and I are at work. She spends the night a different peoples houses sometimes letting me know and sometimes not. She goes out to clubs and has a great time with her friends but the little time that she is home she isolates herself from the family. I know she is manipulating me with some of the stuff she does.
It sounds like she is avoiding you, not working, and still having a blast at "clubs." To me it sounds like substance abuse maybe beyond pot. Pot and alcohol make depression even worse.
The alternative was too
awful to contemplate so I didn't. I was wrong.
You are not her mommy anymore. You are now her mother and should be moving toward an adult-adult
relationship in which she is independent.
As with most of our kids here, they aren't going to change, so WE have to change.
But it sounds like she was
dealing well with that and finding purpose in reaching out, then stopped. Why
do you think that is?
It's not the clubbing into the wee hours that is the problem, it's the not meeting her own needs.