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Parent Emeritus
I need help. Adult son is out of control.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 763020" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I too would recommend joining a support group. I tried NAMI, which is a good group, especially for information gathering, but we preferred Families Anonymous. Narcotics Anonymous, also good. Any of the "Anonymous" groups that makes sense to you and is available in your community. Of course, there are also "on line" versions of these programs as well. You will see you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>You can make some choices here, and I believe should. Yes, enough is enough. Consider setting boundaries to protect yourselves. If you want to perhaps pay for him to have a cell phone, for example...do that and ONLY that. BUT, try to keep your involvement in his life very limited. VERY. Can't stress that enough. At 45...it's time. Past time.</p><p></p><p>And don't be guilted into doing anything more. He would be LUCKY if you do anything for him at all. If he is ever violent with you, or even threatens to be or steals from you.... immediately call the police. If you can change cities...consider it. Make sure you have good locks on your doors (different ones if he might have a key) and get a ring doorbell installed if you don't have one already. The ring doorbell is easy to install...but if you don't know how...it shouldn't be costly to have it done.</p><p></p><p>Consider setting boundaries on when he can call you. Perhaps 9-5 everyday but Sunday. No calls on Sunday. This is just a made up example. Whatever you want. And then , consider blocking him if he calls during the wrong times. IF, he is rude to you on the phone, consider blocking him for a period of time. A week, a month...whatever you want and/or need. Do NOT put up with inappropriate behaviors. Set boundaries/limits. Learn how to put on and take off the blocking feature on your phones. Again, set firm boundaries and limits. </p><p></p><p> It's imperative.</p><p></p><p>know/consider...You are not alone. Protect yourselves. Avoid enabling. Set boundaries. Greatly limit your interaction. Wishing you well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 763020, member: 4152"] I too would recommend joining a support group. I tried NAMI, which is a good group, especially for information gathering, but we preferred Families Anonymous. Narcotics Anonymous, also good. Any of the "Anonymous" groups that makes sense to you and is available in your community. Of course, there are also "on line" versions of these programs as well. You will see you are not alone. You can make some choices here, and I believe should. Yes, enough is enough. Consider setting boundaries to protect yourselves. If you want to perhaps pay for him to have a cell phone, for example...do that and ONLY that. BUT, try to keep your involvement in his life very limited. VERY. Can't stress that enough. At 45...it's time. Past time. And don't be guilted into doing anything more. He would be LUCKY if you do anything for him at all. If he is ever violent with you, or even threatens to be or steals from you.... immediately call the police. If you can change cities...consider it. Make sure you have good locks on your doors (different ones if he might have a key) and get a ring doorbell installed if you don't have one already. The ring doorbell is easy to install...but if you don't know how...it shouldn't be costly to have it done. Consider setting boundaries on when he can call you. Perhaps 9-5 everyday but Sunday. No calls on Sunday. This is just a made up example. Whatever you want. And then , consider blocking him if he calls during the wrong times. IF, he is rude to you on the phone, consider blocking him for a period of time. A week, a month...whatever you want and/or need. Do NOT put up with inappropriate behaviors. Set boundaries/limits. Learn how to put on and take off the blocking feature on your phones. Again, set firm boundaries and limits. It's imperative. know/consider...You are not alone. Protect yourselves. Avoid enabling. Set boundaries. Greatly limit your interaction. Wishing you well. [/QUOTE]
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I need help. Adult son is out of control.
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