I'll start with the history to help. Since 2002 my middle one has been in treatment. Initial diagnosis was simply ADHD inattentive with ODD and just didn't do well with school. She was born with some physical stuff that was addressed early in life that didn't really disrupt her life too much but might have attributed to some of her attention seeking behaviors/entitlement feelings. The family history of domestic abuse didn't apply to her as she was the favored and was lucky to only witness it (but denies it occurred to any of us- this is what has come out in treatment - idolizes ex for the most part still). We have questioned bipolar minimally as the time has progressed and symptoms have progressed. 3 years ago she started stealing food and hiding it. Now it's so bad we are in lock down (started only having to do it at night now have to lock up in day). She lies constantly, almost every word out of her mouth. Academically she still is terrible and refuses to do most of her homework and at school she can become very passively ODD about not doing it and nothing will get her to do it (as reported by teachers). Her stealing was confined mostly to her sisters stuff (who she previously shared a room with until a year and a half ago) but she will steal from any other family member. She is extremely sneaky smart. All of us are amazed at it. Now it seems she's also progressed to things at school, at times coming home lying saying someone "gave it to her" including a teacher (or that she won/earned it- to which I have to check with teacher). She is unusually vocal from morning until bed. Something is always coming out of her mouth (sounds or words - usually high pitched) and if not she has something IN her mouth chewing or otherwise (she is also a thumb sucker). Until recently (and at times it is still a bit of a battle ) her hygiene was horrendous. We have to keep her in check as she will not properly wash herself. She used to be able to hold her own with peers but in the last year and a half she no longer really can. They've had enough. She does not act her age at all and has very annoying and bossy behavior, always has been very bossy (and that has been a problem all along). She seems to identify with much much younger children but the parents of those children don't want her around because they are disconcerted by some of her behaviors at times. We can not identify if she "gets it" or if she does, does she even care about anything cognitively. It's like you can give her a consequence (or when younger a spanking, unfortunately) and she'd turn around and do exactly the same thing. This would happen over and over again immediately (they say you have to do something a thousand times before a child "gets it", she never did). She is not "mean" or hurtful to animals per say but she "makes them" do what she wants such as hold them down to stay with her. In the past, 4 years ago, she actually took a hodge podge of items (like toothpaste, lotion, powder, etc) and applied it all over a cat who is known to run away from people. How she got the cat to stay still AND apply it all we have no idea! We no longer have any animals because of this. She has a fascination for tying things up. If there is a bit of string or yarn around she is tying it to things or tying things up.(like barbie or other dolls or even her bother!) I could go on about this really scary behaviors but I won't because it's best I don't (no fascination with fires or starting them). She is hyper focused on sexual things such as anatomy parts. She will notice someone's low cut shirt, etc. There was a commercial on TV for a feminine product where a lady twirls in a skirt and she says "you can see her underwear" ( you could not). That is just an example on things she will focus on. She was fully evaluated in 1st grade and had an IQ that wasn't great but not too terrible. Jump ahead to now and she was re-evaluated again by psychiatrist and that's how we do have a mood disorder (although they won't positively say bipolar quite yet), ADHD still, ODD. Her IQ is still on par with some areas week but nothing like we really thought we'd see given her performance in school and the inability to do certain mathematical problems (simple stuff really). Cognitively I really feel there is a problem here but yet nothing is showing up in the tests! So this is what I am wondering, is there some other testing I'm missing? I've been around here a long time and yes, I'm worn down and been through a lot so maybe I've forgotten or missing something. This is why I need help desperately. There is something seriously, scary wrong with my child. Enough that the treatment team has hit road blocks each and every time and tell me "we don't know what's wrong". We moved over a year and a half ago (that's another thing, she got worse and the whole family got better as a unit because move was done to get away from environment of "past") and are now down with DUKE and even THEY are hitting the brick wall and batting their heads! We have tossed around the notion of the possibility of attachment disorder based on medical history (they say it's a possibility but who knows). All I know is that this one poor child has set the household on end terribly. I want to help her, we all do, but no one knows what or how to at this point. We know that if she is out of house (say to her grandmothers) the whole house is at peace and calm. That is a very sad fact. We can't and aren't putting her in residential as she isn't quite material for there (it was thought about). I mean she is but in reality she "can" function and putting her there is just a warehouse for her and she'd only pick up those things that aren't already wrong with her. If you have lasted this long with me, thanks. I'm hoping having all your heads out there help me find, perhaps, the missing piece to this puzzle that I (and the treatment teams over the last few years) can't seem to find. Oh and yes, she is on some medications, some others we've tried without success too.