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i need help please with my son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 711539" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You have to decide. I would google the law in your state, because it may differ. The age 14 and above is the age at the time the crime occurred.</p><p></p><p>I might try to get therapy myself, to talk your decision over. Or talk to a pastor. There may be repercussions, either way. Better you know them going in, rather than later. My way of thinking is this: The pro and the con is the same thing. Your son may feel shame if what is happened is revealed. But the thing is: it would allow him to purge the shame, too. He would know that you believed he was a victim and it was not his fault, and you acted upon this belief. It would be taking a powerful stand for him. But this would not be easy for either one of you.</p><p></p><p>Look at the Catholic church sex abuse scandal. Now those kids kept the secret for decades, and to your son's credit and yours, things are in the open between you. But what was so corrosive for those victims was the secrecy. It was worse for them because the perpetrators were trusted authority figures. But still you might learn about the emotional consequences of concealment to these children (now adults) by doing a search, and this way inform and guide your own deciding.</p><p></p><p>Nobody can decide this except you. What I am worried about is that the therapist your son sees and the person you might see might be under some pressure to act. I want you to have done so, first. So that you are not under pressure and there is no risk to your family.</p><p>What do you mean here?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 711539, member: 18958"] You have to decide. I would google the law in your state, because it may differ. The age 14 and above is the age at the time the crime occurred. I might try to get therapy myself, to talk your decision over. Or talk to a pastor. There may be repercussions, either way. Better you know them going in, rather than later. My way of thinking is this: The pro and the con is the same thing. Your son may feel shame if what is happened is revealed. But the thing is: it would allow him to purge the shame, too. He would know that you believed he was a victim and it was not his fault, and you acted upon this belief. It would be taking a powerful stand for him. But this would not be easy for either one of you. Look at the Catholic church sex abuse scandal. Now those kids kept the secret for decades, and to your son's credit and yours, things are in the open between you. But what was so corrosive for those victims was the secrecy. It was worse for them because the perpetrators were trusted authority figures. But still you might learn about the emotional consequences of concealment to these children (now adults) by doing a search, and this way inform and guide your own deciding. Nobody can decide this except you. What I am worried about is that the therapist your son sees and the person you might see might be under some pressure to act. I want you to have done so, first. So that you are not under pressure and there is no risk to your family. What do you mean here? [/QUOTE]
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i need help please with my son
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