i need help with my 22yr old son he is very depressed

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by tonya ryland, Oct 26, 2015.

  1. helpless mom

    helpless mom New Member

    My son has been depressed for years. He has no friends. I think hes an alcoholic. He has a big heart he dont want to hurt me so he tries to hide his depression from me. I think thats the only reason why he hasnt ended his life yet. Its soo hard for me to even write that but i know he dosent want to live anymore. I had him in counseling when he was 16 but he didnt want anything to do with it. To this day i tell him to get help and talk to someone but he wont. I dont know what to do. I cry myself to sleep i cry everymorning going to work. I just want him to be happy
  2. christianmom

    christianmom Member

    I will be praying for you. This is SO hard. Our family has dealt with something similar in the past. (Hugs)
  3. christianmom

    christianmom Member

    PS I will be praying for your son, too.
  4. Rannveig

    Rannveig Member

    So sorry for your pain, HM. Our mothers' hearts break when our children suffer. We didn't bring them into the world for this.

    I haven't been in your particular situation, but I've read a lot on these boards and expect people will advise you to go to Al-Anon. They'll say your son is an adult, so there's a limited amount you can do to save him. You can love him, which is priceless, but you probably can't force him into treatment. You can do the equivalent of putting on your own oxygen mask, which is to go to Al-Anon and seek healing for your own wounds as the mother of someone with a substance abuse problem.

    As a chronic depressive myself, it would mean the world to me just to know my mother cared and didn't judge. (Unfortunately, I'm estranged from my mother.) Keep loving your boy -- that's something to steady and soothe him while he wages his battle with the demon illness. Meanwhile, if you can create a bio here and tell us more about yourself and your son, you'll find lots of people who have dealt with similar challenges and want to help.
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello and welcome. Could you tell us a little more about your son? Does he have a job? Does he live with you? Are there any substance abuse issues?

  6. helpless mom

    helpless mom New Member

    My son is 22yrs old. He was molested from age 12-16. I didnt find out till i took him for counseling and he told the counselor. I feel responsible because it was my brother. My brother had just got out of prison and i let him stay with us. So he is really depressed. He does live with me. I got him a good job at my place of employment, so he is working. He is an alcoholic. Not full blown. He usually dont start drinking till late in evening. He smokes marijuana. And i know he has done methamphetamin. I just need some help on wat my options are. Thanx to all
  7. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Hi hmom, I am so sorry for your troubles, it hurts when our adult children are not doing well
    Agree whole heartedly.

    It is not your fault. It is your brothers fault. How could you have known? Pedophiles are very, very good at fooling people.

    hmom, my daughter is a meth user. It is very bad stuff. Extreme highs and extreme lows.
    I know the worry and fears. Drug use and alcohol will not help him, it is a temporary fix. As parents of adult children, we have no control over the decisions they make. My oldest is very depressed too, we have encouraged her to seek help, but her answer is always "I am not ready". I think that means she is not ready to give up her addiction.

    That said, I have had to let go of the worry and guilt that somehow I have caused this. It is very destructive. I have not given up hope, just the idea that I am not the one to help/enable her. I have given her to God and trusted that He will take care of her. There are many services out there for our d cs.

    In the mean time there is you. You have value and worth. Have you sought counseling for yourself? All of this crying can be exhausting I know, been there and still go there on occasion.

    You are not alone hmom. Big, long hugs to you. (((((((HUGS)))))))