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I need help with my adult daughter.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 669175" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Welcome to the forum ATB, I am so sorry for the loss of your eldest daughter, and I am sorry you are now having to deal with the pain of rejecting from another daughter. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I would tell you that you have done all you can do. There is nothing more to do at this point. I would stop posting anything, and if you feel the need to reach out to her, write her a letter and mail it. Keep it short, keep it simple, keep it kind. Tell her the door is always open, and you love her and you'll be here if and when she is ready to have a relationship again. That's it. </p><p></p><p>Don't keep explaining and apologizing. You aren't perfect, and neither is she. None of us is perfect, and we all make mistakes in relationships. Perfection isn't the standard, even though many of us, myself included, hold ourselves to that standard. It's impossible. </p><p></p><p>Turn the focus onto your own life. Put your heart and your soul and your energy into yourself and into having a happy, healthy, productive life. </p><p></p><p>In time, I hope and pray your daughter lets go of her anger and bitterness and reconciles with you, for your sake and for her own sake.</p><p></p><p>There comes a time in life when we parents have to let go of our adult children, regardless. We have to respect the boundaries they have set and we have to accept the lives they are living, no matter how much it hurts or no matter how much we don't get it or approve or understand.</p><p></p><p>I know this is very, very hard to do, and it takes a lot of work...work on ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Today, do some kind things for yourself, like take a nap, listen to music you like, buy some flowers for your kitchen table, meditate/sit in silence for 10 minutes, call a friend for coffee...just turn the focus of the day onto yourself.</p><p></p><p>We can't control other people no matter how much we want to and no matter how much we love them. I believe our "charge" in life is learning to accept reality. It is what it is. We can go on and live happy lives even in the midst of that.</p><p></p><p>We welcome you here, and hope you will find strength and care and encouragement here. Keep posting. We care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 669175, member: 17542"] Welcome to the forum ATB, I am so sorry for the loss of your eldest daughter, and I am sorry you are now having to deal with the pain of rejecting from another daughter. I would tell you that you have done all you can do. There is nothing more to do at this point. I would stop posting anything, and if you feel the need to reach out to her, write her a letter and mail it. Keep it short, keep it simple, keep it kind. Tell her the door is always open, and you love her and you'll be here if and when she is ready to have a relationship again. That's it. Don't keep explaining and apologizing. You aren't perfect, and neither is she. None of us is perfect, and we all make mistakes in relationships. Perfection isn't the standard, even though many of us, myself included, hold ourselves to that standard. It's impossible. Turn the focus onto your own life. Put your heart and your soul and your energy into yourself and into having a happy, healthy, productive life. In time, I hope and pray your daughter lets go of her anger and bitterness and reconciles with you, for your sake and for her own sake. There comes a time in life when we parents have to let go of our adult children, regardless. We have to respect the boundaries they have set and we have to accept the lives they are living, no matter how much it hurts or no matter how much we don't get it or approve or understand. I know this is very, very hard to do, and it takes a lot of work...work on ourselves. Today, do some kind things for yourself, like take a nap, listen to music you like, buy some flowers for your kitchen table, meditate/sit in silence for 10 minutes, call a friend for coffee...just turn the focus of the day onto yourself. We can't control other people no matter how much we want to and no matter how much we love them. I believe our "charge" in life is learning to accept reality. It is what it is. We can go on and live happy lives even in the midst of that. We welcome you here, and hope you will find strength and care and encouragement here. Keep posting. We care. [/QUOTE]
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I need help with my adult daughter.
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