Hopingforthe best
Member
Most of my son's story is posted at the parent emeritus forum and i tried and failed to post a link. However, same old and similar to many of the kids who has brought others here. Son's marijuana use altered his life with arrests, probation violations, etc. I posted almost one year ago today about his relapse after being sober for almost a year.
a few weeks after, i took away the car i had consigned and kicked him out of the house. After two months out, due to pressure from family and my willingness to give him another chance, when son called to plead with me to return to the house under conditions i gave in. He got a job within a week,gave me half of his salary every week and never gave me any trouble. He even tested clean when i tested him. But the honeymoon was short. While he had been out, he met a girl who seemed really nice, respectful and worked very hard at a restaurant, sometimes even more than 50 hours a week. Unbeknownst to me is the fact that she was also recovering from opiates and was on methadone, and i thought it would be unfair to judge this girl while son is also an addict.
But, i was being taken for a fool. While son was not/or was using, even though he tested clean, he was acting as a broker to one of the girl's male friend. The guy is a naive opiates addict and he needed pills though didn't know where to get them(had a white color job), so son served as the pills finder and got a commission. Well, that didn't last long because both and girlfriend were stopped in guy's car and arrested for possession. That was in February. His girlfriend's father bailed them out. I refused to pay for an attorney and has never gone to any court hearings.
Since then, son has maintained the job, doesn't go anywhere when he is not working except hang out with girlfriend. The reason i need help is because i just found out son has been abusing opiates together with girlfriend. He broke up with her on Wednesday(according to him) and wants to go to detox, then go back to meetings and therapy. I feel stupid because i didn't see any signs of the opiates use because son was doing almost everything asked of him. Even his health looks good. I have been able to do my life regardless but now i am being sucked in and don't know what to do.
Last night, when son told me about his opiates use, he asked if i could help him buy some pills so he wouldn't feel sick from withdrawal while waiting for a detox bed(his insurance only covers very limited detox facilities), but i refused. So this morning when i left him in the house, he was feeling really bad but i didn't feel the need to do anything. I am leaving everything up to him to get help this time. I am not kicking him out but i am not willing to pay for anything especially not pills but i don't know whether i am doing the right thing.
If you read this far, thanks and if you have any kind of advice, i would be glad to hear it.
a few weeks after, i took away the car i had consigned and kicked him out of the house. After two months out, due to pressure from family and my willingness to give him another chance, when son called to plead with me to return to the house under conditions i gave in. He got a job within a week,gave me half of his salary every week and never gave me any trouble. He even tested clean when i tested him. But the honeymoon was short. While he had been out, he met a girl who seemed really nice, respectful and worked very hard at a restaurant, sometimes even more than 50 hours a week. Unbeknownst to me is the fact that she was also recovering from opiates and was on methadone, and i thought it would be unfair to judge this girl while son is also an addict.
But, i was being taken for a fool. While son was not/or was using, even though he tested clean, he was acting as a broker to one of the girl's male friend. The guy is a naive opiates addict and he needed pills though didn't know where to get them(had a white color job), so son served as the pills finder and got a commission. Well, that didn't last long because both and girlfriend were stopped in guy's car and arrested for possession. That was in February. His girlfriend's father bailed them out. I refused to pay for an attorney and has never gone to any court hearings.
Since then, son has maintained the job, doesn't go anywhere when he is not working except hang out with girlfriend. The reason i need help is because i just found out son has been abusing opiates together with girlfriend. He broke up with her on Wednesday(according to him) and wants to go to detox, then go back to meetings and therapy. I feel stupid because i didn't see any signs of the opiates use because son was doing almost everything asked of him. Even his health looks good. I have been able to do my life regardless but now i am being sucked in and don't know what to do.
Last night, when son told me about his opiates use, he asked if i could help him buy some pills so he wouldn't feel sick from withdrawal while waiting for a detox bed(his insurance only covers very limited detox facilities), but i refused. So this morning when i left him in the house, he was feeling really bad but i didn't feel the need to do anything. I am leaving everything up to him to get help this time. I am not kicking him out but i am not willing to pay for anything especially not pills but i don't know whether i am doing the right thing.
If you read this far, thanks and if you have any kind of advice, i would be glad to hear it.