Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759766" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Zopdrop. A brief reply as it's almost 2 am and I want to go back to sleep. </p><p></p><p>I swear. I think you're me. </p><p></p><p>My hugest mistake was my "conditions." I had lists longer than you do, of the absolute necessities that my son return home. Over and over again I made lists of conditions. For years and years. 8 years. 10 Years. Many, many years. The thing is, they were my lists. In my head. My son "bought in" only to get back into the house. How many things on the list did he ever do? None. Zero.</p><p></p><p>Oh. He paid lip service, but that was it. He'd maybe go to the psychiatrist one time. Oh. Maybe he'd pick up the medication from the pharmacy. But I would be surprised if he ever went to a NA meeting. He did go to Vocational Rehabilitation but was discharged a few months later for non-compliance. But that's our situation. Maybe yours will be different.</p><p></p><p>I doubt it though. Your son may actually believe he will comply. It is not necessarily lying. But the follow-through and the desire to really change one's situation doesn't come from mothers. It comes from our children. And to actually decide to do what it takes to change course, takes a shift of motivation and intention, that is like turning around an ocean liner. This is an internally driven thing. Can a tug boat carry an ocean liner across the ocean? No. We are little tiny tug boats. We can't carry them.</p><p></p><p>We can be there. We can love them. But we can't carry them. They have to. Even pushing is dangerous. Although I can't stop it. I was told just last week by a director of a recovery program that our pushing empowers the addiction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759766, member: 18958"] Hi Zopdrop. A brief reply as it's almost 2 am and I want to go back to sleep. I swear. I think you're me. My hugest mistake was my "conditions." I had lists longer than you do, of the absolute necessities that my son return home. Over and over again I made lists of conditions. For years and years. 8 years. 10 Years. Many, many years. The thing is, they were my lists. In my head. My son "bought in" only to get back into the house. How many things on the list did he ever do? None. Zero. Oh. He paid lip service, but that was it. He'd maybe go to the psychiatrist one time. Oh. Maybe he'd pick up the medication from the pharmacy. But I would be surprised if he ever went to a NA meeting. He did go to Vocational Rehabilitation but was discharged a few months later for non-compliance. But that's our situation. Maybe yours will be different. I doubt it though. Your son may actually believe he will comply. It is not necessarily lying. But the follow-through and the desire to really change one's situation doesn't come from mothers. It comes from our children. And to actually decide to do what it takes to change course, takes a shift of motivation and intention, that is like turning around an ocean liner. This is an internally driven thing. Can a tug boat carry an ocean liner across the ocean? No. We are little tiny tug boats. We can't carry them. We can be there. We can love them. But we can't carry them. They have to. Even pushing is dangerous. Although I can't stop it. I was told just last week by a director of a recovery program that our pushing empowers the addiction. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
Top