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Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760820" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Your son will come into contact with addicts even if he lives at home. You can't save him or fix him and it sounds like he is in a good place. Unless you plan to lock him up forever, our culture exposes us to bars, drugs and people who use drugs and and drink. Addiction is a lifetime disease and for the rest of your son's life he will have to learn coping skills so that he CAN resist when around other people who drink. Narcotics Anonymous and other organizations can and often do offer fellowship and teach addicts how to resist using. Home is temporary. He still has to live in a world of drinkers.</p><p></p><p>My opinion doesn't matter. I am sharing what I have learned from five years of Nar Anon. We want to fix them. We can't. If your son is in treatment he probably could benefit by staying. </p><p></p><p>A friend we have has been sober for 30 years. He got clean after both parents died, not before. He struggles every day to stay clean and is still active in Narcotics Anonymous. His wife attends Nar Anon and is also my sponsor. I know both would tell you that you have no power to change your son's life. Wish we all could cure our kids! </p><p></p><p>You, in the end, have to be the one to decide what you do. Life holds no guarantees. The only person on earth who can get your son clean and keep him clean is your son. </p><p></p><p>You have a lot to think about. Maybe try a Nar Anon meeting. They have Zoom meetings too listed on line. Everyone there is in the same boat but some are much farther along and have a lot of coping tools to share. </p><p></p><p>Whatever you decide to do remember you can only fix yourself, not him. You can't shield him or protect him. If you choose to bring him home, it won't stop him from having to learn how to not use substances. Other people in Recovery really tend to try to help one another. In the end, it's a One Man Gig...the addict has to use his friends and tools and do this alone.</p><p></p><p>Whatever happens, we support you and I send prayers and love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760820, member: 23706"] Your son will come into contact with addicts even if he lives at home. You can't save him or fix him and it sounds like he is in a good place. Unless you plan to lock him up forever, our culture exposes us to bars, drugs and people who use drugs and and drink. Addiction is a lifetime disease and for the rest of your son's life he will have to learn coping skills so that he CAN resist when around other people who drink. Narcotics Anonymous and other organizations can and often do offer fellowship and teach addicts how to resist using. Home is temporary. He still has to live in a world of drinkers. My opinion doesn't matter. I am sharing what I have learned from five years of Nar Anon. We want to fix them. We can't. If your son is in treatment he probably could benefit by staying. A friend we have has been sober for 30 years. He got clean after both parents died, not before. He struggles every day to stay clean and is still active in Narcotics Anonymous. His wife attends Nar Anon and is also my sponsor. I know both would tell you that you have no power to change your son's life. Wish we all could cure our kids! You, in the end, have to be the one to decide what you do. Life holds no guarantees. The only person on earth who can get your son clean and keep him clean is your son. You have a lot to think about. Maybe try a Nar Anon meeting. They have Zoom meetings too listed on line. Everyone there is in the same boat but some are much farther along and have a lot of coping tools to share. Whatever you decide to do remember you can only fix yourself, not him. You can't shield him or protect him. If you choose to bring him home, it won't stop him from having to learn how to not use substances. Other people in Recovery really tend to try to help one another. In the end, it's a One Man Gig...the addict has to use his friends and tools and do this alone. Whatever happens, we support you and I send prayers and love. [/QUOTE]
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