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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I need some encouragement please
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 675882" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I can give suggestions on things you can do to help yourself. You can go to Al-Anon and get face time advice, help, and compassion. You can go to a private therapist who can help you be good to yourself while your daughter self-destructs because YOU matter just as much as she does.</p><p></p><p>But you can't change your daughter or anybody but yourself. Your daughter will not change until she wants to change. There are no magic words or special places she can do to force it. People can use in rehabs if they want. It's against the rules and they will get thrown out, but you can't keep somebody from doing what they want to do. You can only go on with your life, hang around with your loved ones who are functional and can appreciate your kind heart and help you stay grounded and do the things you love to do. Worrying about your daughter will not help her one bit and may make you very sick, and that's not good for either of you.</p><p></p><p>Be very nice to a very nice person...yourself. Be gentle and kind to you. Your daughter's activities are not about YOU, they are about her. Try not to be bothered by what she writes on FB and who sees it. If you like, you can choose to say to anyone who asks, "I am choosing not to talk about it." And if they still talk about it, repeat it until they stop. Or walk away saying, "I need some alone time now." This will shut down extra gossip and stop others from criticizing you. You don't need to hear them.</p><p></p><p>My daughter quit. It can happen. But it has to come from her.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and good vibes floating in your direction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 675882, member: 1550"] I can give suggestions on things you can do to help yourself. You can go to Al-Anon and get face time advice, help, and compassion. You can go to a private therapist who can help you be good to yourself while your daughter self-destructs because YOU matter just as much as she does. But you can't change your daughter or anybody but yourself. Your daughter will not change until she wants to change. There are no magic words or special places she can do to force it. People can use in rehabs if they want. It's against the rules and they will get thrown out, but you can't keep somebody from doing what they want to do. You can only go on with your life, hang around with your loved ones who are functional and can appreciate your kind heart and help you stay grounded and do the things you love to do. Worrying about your daughter will not help her one bit and may make you very sick, and that's not good for either of you. Be very nice to a very nice person...yourself. Be gentle and kind to you. Your daughter's activities are not about YOU, they are about her. Try not to be bothered by what she writes on FB and who sees it. If you like, you can choose to say to anyone who asks, "I am choosing not to talk about it." And if they still talk about it, repeat it until they stop. Or walk away saying, "I need some alone time now." This will shut down extra gossip and stop others from criticizing you. You don't need to hear them. My daughter quit. It can happen. But it has to come from her. Hugs and good vibes floating in your direction. [/QUOTE]
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I need some encouragement please
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