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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713871" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well...me. sort of. I once didnt trust people, although not as badly as some feel. I 100% thought I was no good and deserved nothing, but I did try. And I didnt really like my current husband all that much when I met him. He wasnt cute to me then and wasnt a man who had money. Can we say shallow of me?</p><p></p><p>What kept me going back was that he was so nice and so honest. And I fell for that. Most men I met after my divorce (in my late 30s) had issues. Tons. And I did too. Until I actually married him I wasnt sure Id go throigh with it.</p><p></p><p>Twenty two years and two kids later, i still love my husband to death. He iz very morally sound...not interested in cheating. His parents had a good marriage. He had no demons from childhood. He is very calm. My good life began when WE began and I am ever grateful I did marry him.</p><p></p><p>If I were looking now, I would have some red flags Id avoid. Here are a few:</p><p></p><p>More than one divorce</p><p></p><p>Not legally divorced</p><p></p><p>Young kids</p><p></p><p>Bad talk about exes and women</p><p></p><p>Risk takers and party animals...to me this is high risk for cheating and jail and drunken bad behavior...I am not a partier anyway. </p><p></p><p>Female friends that they wont let go of. In my world thats a red flag.</p><p></p><p>More than very little drinking and for me pot smoking would turn me off</p><p></p><p>Too involved with an ex, even if they have had kids together. See your kids. Often. Dont act like you are still somehow overly obligated to ex. Also, constant bashing ex all the time. Ex needs to be in the past...or she isnt.</p><p></p><p>CB, I love kind, old fashion boring men. My husband is one. I am so very happy with him.</p><p></p><p>Only date men who are good enough for you. Dont settle because you are alone. It is not bad to be simgle. I used to wish I was single in my first marriage!! He was dreadful company.</p><p></p><p>It isnt shameful to be alone with beloved cats.</p><p></p><p>You are very sweet. Chose very carefully. If a guy lies to you about being married again, consider that a BLEEDING red flag...kick him to the curb THAT DAY. You get who you believe you deserve...and you deserve a good man.or the peace of yourself alone.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs. Sorry about those creepy men. Start fresh...and there is no rush.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713871, member: 1550"] Well...me. sort of. I once didnt trust people, although not as badly as some feel. I 100% thought I was no good and deserved nothing, but I did try. And I didnt really like my current husband all that much when I met him. He wasnt cute to me then and wasnt a man who had money. Can we say shallow of me? What kept me going back was that he was so nice and so honest. And I fell for that. Most men I met after my divorce (in my late 30s) had issues. Tons. And I did too. Until I actually married him I wasnt sure Id go throigh with it. Twenty two years and two kids later, i still love my husband to death. He iz very morally sound...not interested in cheating. His parents had a good marriage. He had no demons from childhood. He is very calm. My good life began when WE began and I am ever grateful I did marry him. If I were looking now, I would have some red flags Id avoid. Here are a few: More than one divorce Not legally divorced Young kids Bad talk about exes and women Risk takers and party animals...to me this is high risk for cheating and jail and drunken bad behavior...I am not a partier anyway. Female friends that they wont let go of. In my world thats a red flag. More than very little drinking and for me pot smoking would turn me off Too involved with an ex, even if they have had kids together. See your kids. Often. Dont act like you are still somehow overly obligated to ex. Also, constant bashing ex all the time. Ex needs to be in the past...or she isnt. CB, I love kind, old fashion boring men. My husband is one. I am so very happy with him. Only date men who are good enough for you. Dont settle because you are alone. It is not bad to be simgle. I used to wish I was single in my first marriage!! He was dreadful company. It isnt shameful to be alone with beloved cats. You are very sweet. Chose very carefully. If a guy lies to you about being married again, consider that a BLEEDING red flag...kick him to the curb THAT DAY. You get who you believe you deserve...and you deserve a good man.or the peace of yourself alone. Big hugs. Sorry about those creepy men. Start fresh...and there is no rush. [/QUOTE]
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