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<blockquote data-quote="Californiablonde" data-source="post: 713882" data-attributes="member: 2196"><p>Thank you ladies. I don't know if I ever mentioned this before, but I am an empath. I experience other people's pain. It's exhausting. Anyway, I belong to this empath support group. Awhile ago one of the members asked us all if any of us have a very hard time letting people go, even people who are acquaintances or people who are have barely even been in our lives for a very long time. I wanted to raise my hand and scream, "YES, YES, over here, me, me, me!"</p><p></p><p>All my life I have been emotionally devastated over losing contact with anyone. I don't just mean men, or relationships. I am talking about friendships that have gone sour, family members who have disowned me or I have disowned them, and relationships that have ended, no matter how short. It kills me every time I have to say goodbye to someone. I get SO attached, so quickly, and I can't let go.</p><p></p><p>This married guy was only in my life a few short months. But he told me everything I needed to hear. I was told I was beautiful, sexy, I had a great hourglass figure that is gorgeous, I was special, etc. I believed him. Since I gained all this weight, 72 pounds to be exact, I felt ugly. I used to get compliments all the time from random people telling me how pretty I was. It made me feel good. Then it stopped. I felt so unattractive.</p><p></p><p>I started punishing myself by wearing nothing but jeans and baggy sweaters and shirts to hide my fat. I stopped wearing makeup, except to work, and even then it was the bare minimum. Then I me HIM. He told me I was beautiful and would look great in something pretty like a dress. I bought a dress and wore it for him. He loved it. He said I needed to give myself more credit. I deserve to dress nice, I am still beautiful.</p><p></p><p>I wore the dress to work and got so many compliments. Our SRO just got through asking me today why I don't wear more dresses, because I wear them well. I haven't gotten a compliment like that in years, except from HIM. For once, my weight didn't make me feel ugly. I started to embrace my curves. He made me feel attractive and desirable. Then the bombshell.</p><p></p><p>I am no longer seeing him, but I started to fall HARD for him, and it's not like I can just turn off my feelings right away like a light switch. It's killing me I will never hear those words from him. I keep looking over the texts and emails he has sent me. Keep wishing it had been different. I keep wishing it wasn't all a lie. But it was.</p><p></p><p>And here I sit, still having a hard time letting go. I miss him, as crazy as it sounds. I miss those big giant comforting hugs, the gentle kisses, something I haven't had in five years. He made me come alive again, even though it was for a small amount of time. I hate myself for trusting, and I am left devastated and broken hearted. I feel so lost. I will get over this, but it's still painful. I hate this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Californiablonde, post: 713882, member: 2196"] Thank you ladies. I don't know if I ever mentioned this before, but I am an empath. I experience other people's pain. It's exhausting. Anyway, I belong to this empath support group. Awhile ago one of the members asked us all if any of us have a very hard time letting people go, even people who are acquaintances or people who are have barely even been in our lives for a very long time. I wanted to raise my hand and scream, "YES, YES, over here, me, me, me!" All my life I have been emotionally devastated over losing contact with anyone. I don't just mean men, or relationships. I am talking about friendships that have gone sour, family members who have disowned me or I have disowned them, and relationships that have ended, no matter how short. It kills me every time I have to say goodbye to someone. I get SO attached, so quickly, and I can't let go. This married guy was only in my life a few short months. But he told me everything I needed to hear. I was told I was beautiful, sexy, I had a great hourglass figure that is gorgeous, I was special, etc. I believed him. Since I gained all this weight, 72 pounds to be exact, I felt ugly. I used to get compliments all the time from random people telling me how pretty I was. It made me feel good. Then it stopped. I felt so unattractive. I started punishing myself by wearing nothing but jeans and baggy sweaters and shirts to hide my fat. I stopped wearing makeup, except to work, and even then it was the bare minimum. Then I me HIM. He told me I was beautiful and would look great in something pretty like a dress. I bought a dress and wore it for him. He loved it. He said I needed to give myself more credit. I deserve to dress nice, I am still beautiful. I wore the dress to work and got so many compliments. Our SRO just got through asking me today why I don't wear more dresses, because I wear them well. I haven't gotten a compliment like that in years, except from HIM. For once, my weight didn't make me feel ugly. I started to embrace my curves. He made me feel attractive and desirable. Then the bombshell. I am no longer seeing him, but I started to fall HARD for him, and it's not like I can just turn off my feelings right away like a light switch. It's killing me I will never hear those words from him. I keep looking over the texts and emails he has sent me. Keep wishing it had been different. I keep wishing it wasn't all a lie. But it was. And here I sit, still having a hard time letting go. I miss him, as crazy as it sounds. I miss those big giant comforting hugs, the gentle kisses, something I haven't had in five years. He made me come alive again, even though it was for a small amount of time. I hate myself for trusting, and I am left devastated and broken hearted. I feel so lost. I will get over this, but it's still painful. I hate this. [/QUOTE]
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