I just found out a few minutes ago my best friend who was more like my little sister than just a best friend OD on heroin last night. I am devastated, crushed, heartbroken. She had been in outpatient rehab for the past 6 months and on methadone. But I knew she'd been attempting to cheat every chance she got. She left behind a 9 year old and a 14 year old. I know her family has to be shattered. I am about to go over there and offer what comfort I can, if any. I'm not in such grand shape myself. My best friends number is on my caller ID for last night. I didn't answer the phone. I was upstairs napping and husband probably didn't hear it. That makes me feel even worse. What if, like before, she was making a cry for help and I didn't get the call? I suppose it could've been her family trying to tell me what had happened........but somehow I've got the feeling she was trying to call me and I wasn't there for her. I've known for a while that my friend was going to commit slow suicide with the drugs. It doesn't make it any easier having known that beforehand. It doesn't make it any less painful. It doesn't make me any less furious. I am shaking with rage.......and I've no one to direct it at. Rage because she was a brilliant, funny, sweet, tender hearted soul before the drugs took over. She wasn't strong enough to battle her demons, instead she escaped thru drugs and alcohol. My God she was only a year older than stepgfg. 31 yrs old. A life wasted. Two boys left without a mother. And it never needed to be that way. It is just so d*mn wrong! I'm heading to her mother's house now. I should be studying. But I can't in good conscience do that. These people are like family to me. I may not stay long, but I've got to at least show them I care, that I love her too, and share their pain.