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I need your prayers more than I ever have
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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 44615" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>Thank you all. It is after 3a.m. here and I am still sitting awake. I did talk to my cousin online tonight (one of the few family members who don't suck!) and finally confided in her. It felt good to talk to someone about it, although we didn't go into detail, I just let out some of how I was feeling and felt listened to and heard. I am really stuck in this mindset of don't think about it and it'll just not be so bad. Kind of like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I had to ask myself tonight "how's that working for ya" and the resounding answer was it is not. I am afraid to contemplate the state I'd be without medications the doctor ordered when I went to see him. </p><p>My thoughts aren't rational in terms of being in perspective. I am absurdly bitterly angry about the damaged cartilage in my nose. I seem to be focused on the tip of my stupid nose and ignoring the ramnifications of this whole thing emotionally. I know that it is natural to react oddly after something like this, but after a week has passed, I can't believe that I am obsessing about my stupid nose!!! I have also washed every wall in my living room, kitchen and bathroom including dusting the ceilings of all things! </p><p>I have a number from the assault center that I can call 24/7 if I need to talk to someone, but I haven't called it. I am trying to hang in there for my appointment Tuesday. I do however have it in my pocket at all times just in case. Somehow that helps.</p><p>Thank you all again, internet anonymity is sometimes a real blessing!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 44615, member: 50"] Thank you all. It is after 3a.m. here and I am still sitting awake. I did talk to my cousin online tonight (one of the few family members who don't suck!) and finally confided in her. It felt good to talk to someone about it, although we didn't go into detail, I just let out some of how I was feeling and felt listened to and heard. I am really stuck in this mindset of don't think about it and it'll just not be so bad. Kind of like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I had to ask myself tonight "how's that working for ya" and the resounding answer was it is not. I am afraid to contemplate the state I'd be without medications the doctor ordered when I went to see him. My thoughts aren't rational in terms of being in perspective. I am absurdly bitterly angry about the damaged cartilage in my nose. I seem to be focused on the tip of my stupid nose and ignoring the ramnifications of this whole thing emotionally. I know that it is natural to react oddly after something like this, but after a week has passed, I can't believe that I am obsessing about my stupid nose!!! I have also washed every wall in my living room, kitchen and bathroom including dusting the ceilings of all things! I have a number from the assault center that I can call 24/7 if I need to talk to someone, but I haven't called it. I am trying to hang in there for my appointment Tuesday. I do however have it in my pocket at all times just in case. Somehow that helps. Thank you all again, internet anonymity is sometimes a real blessing! [/QUOTE]
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