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Substance Abuse
I Never Imagined I’d Be Here- Need Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 751457" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>I am so sorry for your profound loss. </p><p></p><p>I agree with Busy that your daughter's behavior is consistent with substance abuse. </p><p></p><p>I would cut my losses, stop enabling my daughter by cutting off all financial support , and start focusing on me. You only have control over yourself , nobody else. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter's feelings, and behavior belong to her. Even her lies and her manipulations. By you cutting your losses and not talking about the pawn shop etc anymore , you leave the responsibility for all of that with her. By bugging her about it, she will be mad at you and focus on that rather than taking responsibility for her actions .You can change your behavior towards her by stopping all future lending of anything since she pawned your belongings. Think of action steps to take on your behalf rather than how to change her. </p><p></p><p>I would strongly recommend Al-Anon for you. It will help you focus on you. </p><p></p><p>By enabling her (doing for her what she is able to do for herself as an adult) you are contributing to her disease . When you learn to be healthier, she has a chance to follow suit .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 751457, member: 24254"] I am so sorry for your profound loss. I agree with Busy that your daughter's behavior is consistent with substance abuse. I would cut my losses, stop enabling my daughter by cutting off all financial support , and start focusing on me. You only have control over yourself , nobody else. Your daughter's feelings, and behavior belong to her. Even her lies and her manipulations. By you cutting your losses and not talking about the pawn shop etc anymore , you leave the responsibility for all of that with her. By bugging her about it, she will be mad at you and focus on that rather than taking responsibility for her actions .You can change your behavior towards her by stopping all future lending of anything since she pawned your belongings. Think of action steps to take on your behalf rather than how to change her. I would strongly recommend Al-Anon for you. It will help you focus on you. By enabling her (doing for her what she is able to do for herself as an adult) you are contributing to her disease . When you learn to be healthier, she has a chance to follow suit . [/QUOTE]
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I Never Imagined I’d Be Here- Need Advice
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