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Substance Abuse
I Never Imagined I’d Be Here- Need Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 751474" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Action steps are our responses to what is happening. So rather than indulging my former coping mechanisms like self pity, self delusion, and fear, I think about what I can do to make things better for me . Someone in Al-Anon used to say to me "Come out of the corner". So, for me, rather than cowering and crying and feeling sorry for myself when my dry drunk husband unleashed his crap on me, I would leave the house and do something nice for me. I stopped playing the game and acting on my own behalf.</p><p></p><p>You have already received good suggestions on how to try to get your jewelry our of the pawn shop without contacting your daughter. I was thinking along the lines of just cutting your losses. It depends how valuable your items are to you .I also think that if you stop all communication, she will contact you eventually when she has created the next crisis and that is when you can bargain and demand the name of the pawn shop first before you even hear the next plea. I would venture to guess that she did not go very far to pawn, so you could go to the ones close to her home. </p><p></p><p>As far as the TV gateway and other belongings go, how would you feel about marching over there and just demanding your things? Threatening to call police if she doesn't? I don't know your daughter, but that's what I would do with mine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 751474, member: 24254"] Action steps are our responses to what is happening. So rather than indulging my former coping mechanisms like self pity, self delusion, and fear, I think about what I can do to make things better for me . Someone in Al-Anon used to say to me "Come out of the corner". So, for me, rather than cowering and crying and feeling sorry for myself when my dry drunk husband unleashed his crap on me, I would leave the house and do something nice for me. I stopped playing the game and acting on my own behalf. You have already received good suggestions on how to try to get your jewelry our of the pawn shop without contacting your daughter. I was thinking along the lines of just cutting your losses. It depends how valuable your items are to you .I also think that if you stop all communication, she will contact you eventually when she has created the next crisis and that is when you can bargain and demand the name of the pawn shop first before you even hear the next plea. I would venture to guess that she did not go very far to pawn, so you could go to the ones close to her home. As far as the TV gateway and other belongings go, how would you feel about marching over there and just demanding your things? Threatening to call police if she doesn't? I don't know your daughter, but that's what I would do with mine. [/QUOTE]
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