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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I Never Imagined I’d Be Here- Need Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751524" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You don't know that yet. There is time for her to do the right thing. Until now there was no incentive for her to do so, as long as you asked for nothing, had no bottom line. You say you know she misses you. Let's let her chew on that for a while. It's not that you want her to suffer, but that she has to know (and so do you) that you DO have a bottom line. </p><p></p><p>You expect to be treated with respect, for one. </p><p></p><p>And there is the issue of trust. And of responsibility. </p><p></p><p>We need to feel that the people we love will be trustworthy and take responsibility to do the right thing.</p><p></p><p>Most of us on this board can't have the confidence in our adult children that they are trustworthy, self-respecting, giving of respect, and responsible people. But I hold to the position that I MUST hold it in my consciousness that my child should live his life in this way. I won't compromise with that set of values. I don't think you should, either. </p><p></p><p>You are not punishing her. You are essentially telling her, through your own conduct, that until she chooses to step up, you need to step back. </p><p></p><p>As far as the drug use, if she abuses prescription pills it's as dangerous as illegal, strong drugs. I don't see what you can do about it, at this point, unless your grandson is in danger or neglected. Your daughter seems like a loving young woman. I believe she can and will do the right thing. It's a hunch. But a strong one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751524, member: 18958"] You don't know that yet. There is time for her to do the right thing. Until now there was no incentive for her to do so, as long as you asked for nothing, had no bottom line. You say you know she misses you. Let's let her chew on that for a while. It's not that you want her to suffer, but that she has to know (and so do you) that you DO have a bottom line. You expect to be treated with respect, for one. And there is the issue of trust. And of responsibility. We need to feel that the people we love will be trustworthy and take responsibility to do the right thing. Most of us on this board can't have the confidence in our adult children that they are trustworthy, self-respecting, giving of respect, and responsible people. But I hold to the position that I MUST hold it in my consciousness that my child should live his life in this way. I won't compromise with that set of values. I don't think you should, either. You are not punishing her. You are essentially telling her, through your own conduct, that until she chooses to step up, you need to step back. As far as the drug use, if she abuses prescription pills it's as dangerous as illegal, strong drugs. I don't see what you can do about it, at this point, unless your grandson is in danger or neglected. Your daughter seems like a loving young woman. I believe she can and will do the right thing. It's a hunch. But a strong one. [/QUOTE]
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