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Substance Abuse
I Never Imagined I’d Be Here- Need Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751548" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You did. We all do. Love is a hostage situation.</p><p>The baby is the ultimate hostage. For both of you.</p><p>In Al Anon they say "'No' is a complete sentence." I don't think you need to justify yourself about your boundaries. It weakens you. And it is blaming of her. It's like getting your licks in. And she will react badly, like this: I do it. But I'm wrong. Just say no in a nice way. Then if she brings it up, and asks why, sit down quietly, and explain. Say, <em>I can't help you load because when I do, my back hurts for a week.</em> Or,<em> I need us to make a plan to make less mess.</em></p><p>The book people talk about as being useful is this one: <u>Boundaries </u>by Townsend and Cloud. I did not read it because I'm not a Christian and it is from that frame of reference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751548, member: 18958"] You did. We all do. Love is a hostage situation. The baby is the ultimate hostage. For both of you. In Al Anon they say "'No' is a complete sentence." I don't think you need to justify yourself about your boundaries. It weakens you. And it is blaming of her. It's like getting your licks in. And she will react badly, like this: I do it. But I'm wrong. Just say no in a nice way. Then if she brings it up, and asks why, sit down quietly, and explain. Say, [I]I can't help you load because when I do, my back hurts for a week.[/I] Or,[I] I need us to make a plan to make less mess.[/I] The book people talk about as being useful is this one: [U]Boundaries [/U]by Townsend and Cloud. I did not read it because I'm not a Christian and it is from that frame of reference. [/QUOTE]
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