I opted out of family therapy and I don’t know how I feel about it. My son is half way through his agreed upon 30 day IOP. But tested weakly positive for cocaine a week ago. I guess his therapist believed it was possibly a false test, but all my sons ranting efforts at denial since seem so familiar, I can’t fathom that he is telling the truth. And that’s largely why I took a pass. His words mean nothing to me. I felt like I couldn’t subject myself to an hour of his sounds. But also because I’ve felt, as this has gone on, that there is absolutely no nuance to this problem — as intractable as it is. And it doesn’t take an hour to explain where I’m at to him or to a therapist. I am just not seeing insight or change. Until I do, there’s nothing to talk about. We did family therapy with him for a year when he was sober. We didn’t make huge epiphanic discoveries but it felt like we were all trying to move ourselves. We tried again this last fall but my son was unsatisfied because it wasn’t used to hammer out the terms of reduced expectations and increased support. If he were an admitted addict or diagnosed with a mental illness I think I would feel different about things. But he’s not there. And he’s not trying to better anything. He just wants to do what he wants to do.