This is a pastor who regularly (several times a week) goes to facilities to talk to those incarcerated who want to talk to them. difficult child is in detention awaiting transfer to Department of Juvenile Justice but has known this man from his previous stints and has talked to him a lot in the past. He called me today, surprisingly, and asked how I was doing. I have no idea what difficult child told him to spur this call but he seemed worried about me and said he thought difficult child was finally getting somewhere. I was shocked to hear that - it can't be manipulation because difficult child has already gotten his sentence, definitely won't be coming home for a very long time, and I haven't held any carrot over his head thru this. Anyway, he said that he thinks difficult child is not the same as most the boys in there and he thinks a lot of him and would really like to see him turn things around. Yep, me too. He said difficult child opened up a lot more to him on Sunday and let some things out. I was glad to hear that and told him I encouraged and supported difficult child opening up to someone appropriate to work through things that ate at him so he could get past some of the painful things that influence his decision making. The pastor seems to think difficult child is doing this but warned that staff might not be a good option- pastors and tdocs in Department of Juvenile Justice are ok but regular staff might not be a good idea to encourage difficult child to go to. Ok, I'll discuss that with difficult child when I see him again. He didn't break difficult child's confidence and tell me what he revealed or talked about, which is fine. I am curious though because he asked several times if I was ok and how I was doing. He shared my frustration that difficult child should have goneto Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to begin with and should have rec'd transitional services of some sorts when released from Department of Juvenile Justice in the spring. And the frustration of difficult child not trying and caring about himself and own life/future, his reaching out to the wrong people, etc. It's too bad that difficult child didn't have an adult male that he connected with in Department of Juvenile Justice. He might end up going back to the same facility he went to before and he only had a female therapist that he snowed there. It makes me feel good to have someone say these things about difficult child and seemingly care about us and I appreciate it a great deal. But it also serves as a reminder of potential thrown away and such a loss of dreams for difficult child.