the parole plan for difficult child. After going thru the process again of having to stay on our local school district's transfer of records to Department of Juvenile Justice, having to stay on their rears and listen to their attitudes for four months for them still not to have it correct, updated, and sent to Department of Juvenile Justice after they told me they had but Department of Juvenile Justice school district had it all figured out and correct within 3 weeks; after talking with the CM at Department of Juvenile Justice and hearing again that people in our CSU (Juvenile courts people like attnys and PO) are not telling me correct information, having the PO changed to one who comes across as a royal PITA similar to old probation officer; after bumping into the PO who just got replaced on the way into the building and talking with him, then talking to this new one at our appointment- I drew the line. I didn't say I would never sign, only that I am not in a position to commit to it today and will not sign today. He tried intimidating, threatening, turning difficult child over to dss/my bro, etc. Nope- not working this time. He said there's nothing werong with the parole plan- which by the way is exactly the same as the last one with one additional meeting per month with PO thrown in- to which I responded, "well, maybe there's not however it obviously didn't work so why would I turn around and commit to it again?" He said the only reason it didn't work was because of difficult child's choices- difficult child chose to break parole requirements, do drugs, etc (notice how he conveniently always left out what difficult child had done to me any time this came up). So I said, yes, difficult child did and bboth times he has been committed to Department of Juvenile Justice it has been due to having a knife in his hand and committing an offense against me while he had it so given the choices difficult child has made, if he was released to day he would not be welcome in my home today. PO says well, he's not being released today and we don't know what all might change between now and the time he gets released. Correct, I said, and since I don't even know how long he'll be in there this time except that it will probably be after his 17th b-day, I can't tell you if he'll be welcome in my home then or not. So, he tells me that my only other option is to file for relief of custody. (He might be correct but given my hx with all those over there, I wouldn't take a single word any of them say as truth and correct witthout getting it verified. For one, thing, the "custody" issue for the present tense doesn't make sense given that difficult child is in Department of Juvenile Justice and that is not the same as when a kid is in detention- custody actually has transferred to Department of Juvenile Justice so I don't currently have custody of difficult child anyway.) When the threat of dss/my bro didn't work this time- I told him I'd definitely be weighing filing for relief- he then said I might have to go to court and explain this to a judge. I said fine. He said the judge might order me to take difficult child back anyway. I said, I understand, he might. But I'm not signing that parole plan until I know what length of stay difficult child gets and weighing all the options, including legal aspects. This will include considering emancipation of difficult child next year. PO said he wouldn't wualify because difficult child would have to be able to support himself and have his own home. I said, well, Department of Juvenile Justice prepares teens for that all the time. This PO is royally ticked. He kept going back to me being the responsible party for difficult child. in my humble opinion, it's their very approach toward me the past four years that has left difficult child with no respect for me because difficult child knows that I have jumped thru hoops to prevent him going to dss/my bro. This has continued to get worse and the past 6 mos proved to me that it has only made difficult child worse instead of helping to rehabilitate him. If I have to explain to a judge why I am not comfortable signing that parole plan right now, I will be happy to do so. Mind youi, the most recent PO that I bumped into going into the building told me if I refused to sign the parole plan todday, abolutely nothing happens. I have never known who over there is telling me the truth and who isn't from one day to the next. All I know is that I should have listened to the Special Education attny I hired three years ago- get out of this jurisdiction- they drive families out when their kids have issues- the neighboring jurisdictions are more compliant with the laws and much more willing to work with families- this jurisdiction only wants the creme of the crop living in it so they can keep their reputation and they darn sure don't want to spend their taxpayers dollars helping troubled families because more would just move there if they did. I am 100% convinced that he hit the nail on the head. That Special Education attny lives in the same jurisdiction as LDM and said he refused to move his family/kid to this one because of stuff like this- and he specifically said it was the school district, juvenile courts, and MH dept. I think now that just the difference in the way these people talk to difficult child and me might have had more of an impact on both of us than I was aware of. People can only take being talked down to and being looked down upon for so long before you give up. They aren't that way in Department of Juvenile Justice. Good or bad, my gut tells me this has a lot to do with difficult child being back in there riight now (ie, difficult child not trying very hard- or at all- to stay out). I will be very glad to get out of here. Honestly, I'm to a point where I feel guilty contributing to this revolving door anymore. I can't control difficult child's choices, CSU's lack of effort to do anything helpful, but I can stop allowing myself to be in the middle of it thereby allowing it continue the other parties not changing anything as long as it does.