I regret saying what I did but...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Confused, Dec 30, 2014.

  1. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    But.. today was the point of no return. Son started at 5:30am because I didnt put his root beer in the fridge( didnt know he didnt finish it) and he expects me to do everything and just be waited on and and foot like hes a billionaire or completely crippled person. He spends his money wants us to pay him back! Anyway he started the idiot bastard I want you to die saga all morning then tantrum.. daughter came out and wanted pj pants and asked if we are going to the store. I told her unless her grandpa is going to take her I wont ...then..son called my dad and my dad refused to get fast food again.. son threw the phone I yelled dont throw it and then he threw a power wheels battery at me. So I gently pulled him away from all the stuff he was throwing at me and held him for him to stop.Daughter sarcastically said that abuse! Ya when the doctors told me I could do this when he was harming himself or me to get him away from it. A pillow ..blanket stuffed toys.... little things I let go...I could care less ...but power wheel batteries, glass, sticks ..scissors etc ya,, Im gonna stop him and him until he calms down AS THE doctors SAID TO!!!!!!!!

    I told them both Im done I cant do this all day all night handle them grandpa..my dad,, my sister,, cant be allowed to work because who is going to care for all these people>? They want their dad or someone else I cant fight them.. then they both claim they hate their dad and dont wont him and didnt say that and wont go with their dad or anyone else. I told em pack- they wont. I told them I love them but just dont know what to do for them.. all they say is ...give me give me what n when I want if you would let me do what I want they be fine!!! So No school and stay up all night , only fast food, all the money and toy stores, vacations, electronics, yes yess is all they want!!! Well no!!!!!

    Grandpa started in on me too lastnight and this morning of course thats daily that I always am asleep when he gets up well... sometimes yes but most time I just dont run out and start yapping at all hrs of the night because I sleep like a cat on and off no solid hours unless I pass out from exhaustion. I learned not to keep letting gpa know im up when he I hear him if he doesnt need me or Im up for sure all night. Then I havent slept good even before the kids and after i became light sleeper as most parents do.. then with drama drama drama drama stress, my health ya.. I dont sleep worth a penny.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First off, I'm sending gentle hugs your way. I know what it is like to be physically abused by a child. When difficult child was younger it happened to me a lot.

    I can't remember if both of your kiddos are seeing psychiatrists and tdocs on a regular basis. For me when things were at their worse, I also needed to see a therapist. She really was very helpful.

    Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes we say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment. I'm sure there was a time when I told difficult child (and easy child/difficult child) to pack their bags and I would help them find some place to live. Was I proud of that? No but I was human and it felt like I was living in a battle zone 24/7.

    Whenever my difficult child was very physical where it became dangerous we would call his psychiatrist's office (which they thanked us for doing). My difficult child ended up hospitalized 6 times over a course of a few years because of his violence and eventually the doctors did find a medication that helped control the violence.

    I know you have the extra burden of being a single parent so it is hard for you to find some "me" time but if there is any way possible I highly recommend it.

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  3. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Confused, do NOT feel guilty. Oh my goodness, with all that they put you through, I'm surprised you don't say worse! Please do not feel guilty. I even said to you before that I thought it was a good idea for the kids to go live with their father. It doesn't have to be forever either. It could temporary. All I know is you need and deserve a break! You really do.
  4. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    I just never thought Id be that mom.. no way for their dad. But what I need is a place just for me and my two kids, oh and their pets. But I just need a job and time with only my two kids to get us back on track. I know that it wont solve everything, just one thing and we still have a lifetime of work ahead.
  5. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    If you don't mind me asking, how come you don't want them to live with their dad? If you already said why, I apologize, I missed it.
  6. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Its ok,the reasons to start are hes an alcoholic, violent( even when not drinking- no never hit the kids..just women and male friends- but believes in the belt ..I stopped him with that issue before it started), hasnt been solid in the kids lives.
  7. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Plus, they are my kids and I am not giving up on them. Now when they are 18 and want to move out and stop all treatment theres not much I can do but encourage em and love me.
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  8. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    oh ok, i see
  9. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    You are hanging in there quite well with all the pressure you are under. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for sleeping the hours that work for you. Of course when you are stressed out your body needs more sleep Duh. LOL What a turbulent day - hope things start looking up soon. :)
  10. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Its ok Guide Me, he claims hes changed but.. even so no. 2much2recover ya, I tell people I sleep like a cat and they look at me funny! Haha! Im trying and am just to that point of taking my kids and me out of here. OF course we still gotta deal with their dad when he pops up, he is their dad but uggh