Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I saw my daughter tonight.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633694" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Esri, maybe this will help you. It helped me.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is taking HER path, not yours. We all make our own choices. Our children are not born to fulfill OUR dreams, but to fulfill their dreams. None of my adult children finished four year college. So what? It was their choices. A few went for two years. All are hard workers. Even difficult child has a good job and he's never gone to college. He makes a lot of money, just doesn't spend it well. College would not have changed that.</p><p></p><p>I personally think you should ditch the GPS. What does it gain for you to track her whereabouts except getting you mad because she is apparently seeing some boyfriend you didn't like? What she does is actually none of your business. Yes, I said it's none of your business. She is of age and not living with you and you have no business telling her who she should go out with or marry. Most of us, difficult child's mothers, did not ask our parents who we should date. We did it. Even if you think it is bad for her to see him, she has to learn that on her own or maybe she doesn't think so. I don't get the GPS. If that were me, and I was a kid and found out, I'd be furious and it would make me think you were violating my boundaries and being a control freak. I don't understand why you do it at all. You don't have to know where she goes. It hurts you and your health. It potentially REALLY harms your relationship with your daughter.There is no up side to it because it doesn't change anything. You have no control over your grown daughter and she does not need to be watched. Please...I urge you to stop for both of your sakes. Your peace of mind will be better once you learn to detach. Did you read the article on this site?</p><p></p><p>Now (and I say this with laughter in my voice, not anger), if I am getting annoyed at how close an eye you are keeping on your daughter and how much you are trying to control her life...(remember I am being lighthearted here), can you imagine how SHE feels? Do you think maybe that's why she left? Because you were looking over her shoulder and telling her what she "should" do at every turn? In therapy, I learned that "should" is not a helpful word. I would try not to use it and see what happens.</p><p></p><p>Lastly, I do think you could use therapy. You will not be happy in your life until you step out of your daughter's life and path and walk your own path and rediscover what makes YOU happy and do it. Not what makes you happy if SHE does it, but focusing on yourself, apart from anyone else. You are separate and unique and deserve a great rest-of-your-life.We warrior moms are basically almost all about stopping the control and moving on with our own paths and being happy even if we don't like the decisions our grown children make. Remember, although you have 0% control over your daughter, you have 100% control over yourself. You can choose to be happy and I hope you do!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633694, member: 1550"] Esri, maybe this will help you. It helped me. Your daughter is taking HER path, not yours. We all make our own choices. Our children are not born to fulfill OUR dreams, but to fulfill their dreams. None of my adult children finished four year college. So what? It was their choices. A few went for two years. All are hard workers. Even difficult child has a good job and he's never gone to college. He makes a lot of money, just doesn't spend it well. College would not have changed that. I personally think you should ditch the GPS. What does it gain for you to track her whereabouts except getting you mad because she is apparently seeing some boyfriend you didn't like? What she does is actually none of your business. Yes, I said it's none of your business. She is of age and not living with you and you have no business telling her who she should go out with or marry. Most of us, difficult child's mothers, did not ask our parents who we should date. We did it. Even if you think it is bad for her to see him, she has to learn that on her own or maybe she doesn't think so. I don't get the GPS. If that were me, and I was a kid and found out, I'd be furious and it would make me think you were violating my boundaries and being a control freak. I don't understand why you do it at all. You don't have to know where she goes. It hurts you and your health. It potentially REALLY harms your relationship with your daughter.There is no up side to it because it doesn't change anything. You have no control over your grown daughter and she does not need to be watched. Please...I urge you to stop for both of your sakes. Your peace of mind will be better once you learn to detach. Did you read the article on this site? Now (and I say this with laughter in my voice, not anger), if I am getting annoyed at how close an eye you are keeping on your daughter and how much you are trying to control her life...(remember I am being lighthearted here), can you imagine how SHE feels? Do you think maybe that's why she left? Because you were looking over her shoulder and telling her what she "should" do at every turn? In therapy, I learned that "should" is not a helpful word. I would try not to use it and see what happens. Lastly, I do think you could use therapy. You will not be happy in your life until you step out of your daughter's life and path and walk your own path and rediscover what makes YOU happy and do it. Not what makes you happy if SHE does it, but focusing on yourself, apart from anyone else. You are separate and unique and deserve a great rest-of-your-life.We warrior moms are basically almost all about stopping the control and moving on with our own paths and being happy even if we don't like the decisions our grown children make. Remember, although you have 0% control over your daughter, you have 100% control over yourself. You can choose to be happy and I hope you do!!! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I saw my daughter tonight.
Top