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I saw my daughter tonight.
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 633815" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>As much as it may hurt right now, that is kind of a good reason. And also gives every reason to hope, that when you get over this (and it may take a year or two), you will be able to have a great relationship.</p><p></p><p>It is a good thing she wants to be an adult and make her own mistakes and learn from them.</p><p>It is a good thing, that she recognize that you two fighting was a bad thing and the way to solve that, was take some distance for now.</p><p></p><p>It hurts and it is a big adjustment for both of you, but there is a prize other side of it.</p><p></p><p>Good for you not checking the GPS and concentrating to rest of the family. Your younger daughter still needs different type of mommying than your oldest for some time. </p><p></p><p>With your oldest I would advise you to try to make your meetings and contact pleasant for both of you. Do something fun together when she is willing and has time. Don't ask too many questions but listen what she tells to you. And also talk about things you have done and neutral topics. Try to build a new, friendly relationship that is less about mom and child and in more equal grounds. Not all of her business are yours any more and neither are all your business hers. But between those boundaries there are lots of things to talk about and fun things to do together. Do not overwhelm her, but let her know that you still are there for her and try to enjoy and be proud of her new found steps into the adulthood.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like she is basically a fine young woman and you are a great mother. You are just having some difficulties in adjusting to new phase in life, but I'm sure you will be able to work that one out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 633815, member: 14557"] As much as it may hurt right now, that is kind of a good reason. And also gives every reason to hope, that when you get over this (and it may take a year or two), you will be able to have a great relationship. It is a good thing she wants to be an adult and make her own mistakes and learn from them. It is a good thing, that she recognize that you two fighting was a bad thing and the way to solve that, was take some distance for now. It hurts and it is a big adjustment for both of you, but there is a prize other side of it. Good for you not checking the GPS and concentrating to rest of the family. Your younger daughter still needs different type of mommying than your oldest for some time. With your oldest I would advise you to try to make your meetings and contact pleasant for both of you. Do something fun together when she is willing and has time. Don't ask too many questions but listen what she tells to you. And also talk about things you have done and neutral topics. Try to build a new, friendly relationship that is less about mom and child and in more equal grounds. Not all of her business are yours any more and neither are all your business hers. But between those boundaries there are lots of things to talk about and fun things to do together. Do not overwhelm her, but let her know that you still are there for her and try to enjoy and be proud of her new found steps into the adulthood. It sounds like she is basically a fine young woman and you are a great mother. You are just having some difficulties in adjusting to new phase in life, but I'm sure you will be able to work that one out. [/QUOTE]
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