It will be the first time in five weeks. I really want to see him- I just hope that all my mixed emotions and feelings like his future is down the tubes don't dominate. No matter what I signed, I am nowhere close to being able to commit to him coming straight home or doing whatever these people at the courts demand later on. difficult child and I haven't even dealt with what got him in there. I'm trying to take things one day at a time. I'm forming a plan and adjusting to what is to come over the next year or so. I want to be strong for him and support him to do the best he can in there. But that's so hard because a big part of me just feels like his life is scr**ed now.