RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
So husband and I went on a four day cruise to Cozumel a few days before Christmas. We live near a port so it was extremely inexpensive so we decided to go for it. We had a rough day at sea but otherwise it was all good.
It was a true test for J since he has only been out of his program and back with us for a month. I did feel okay about going. We did keep in touch by text while we were away.
We came home and all was good and the house was clean.
He is working full time and already got a $1 per hour raise which they had promised him (after a few weeks of work) when he was hired and he asked about last week.
He is dating a nursing student his age that he met online (some app the kids use). They text constantly but only see each other once or twice a week. Either she comes over when we are out or they meet for dinner. Her FB page is very clean, no partying stuff and she looks pretty all American and wholesome.
He is basically either at work or at home. He hasn't really made any friends but he has only been home since November 17 and we are in a new state and he is shy, so....
He sometimes gets tips at work. He said he got a $50 tip the other day. Well actually the customer gave him $100 for him and his partner - $50 each. He said he thought of keeping it because the other guy wouldn't know but knew it was a test and did give him the money. I told him that I was proud of him for doing that.
He came home last night and said work asked him if he wanted to go to Atlanta to set up for some type of SuperBowl event. The company would pay for hotel and food naturally. He told them he'd think about it. I at first felt it would be a great experience and could be fun. Then I realized it may put his sobriety at risk so asked who he'd be going with. He wasn't yet sure. I told him that he shouldn't be around anyone that does drugs etc. But I know most 20 somethings do drink and so far he has not done anything - even smoked or vaped. Nothing! He said he liked to sleep in his own bed etc. and I said that sometimes you do have to push yourself a bit.
This morning I told him that if he didn't feel comfortable or that it would be safe for him he should not go and that we support that. He said he had already made that decision. I think it may just be too early for him to go away on his own.
I do feel that he is handling himself in a mature and responsible way. Naturally we want to keep pushing him forward but he said he just wants to work at his job for now and that is what he feels comfortable doing. We want him to join Coast Guard reserves and/or take college classes. He knows our goal is for him to be independent but he is just a long way from that.
It's hard to know what to do. I don't want to push him too hard but I don't want him to get complacent either. I am very thankful that he is sober and I know he could be six feet under like many that go down this very scary road.
I pray every day for strength and guidance to be the kind of parent that he needs.
It was a true test for J since he has only been out of his program and back with us for a month. I did feel okay about going. We did keep in touch by text while we were away.
We came home and all was good and the house was clean.
He is working full time and already got a $1 per hour raise which they had promised him (after a few weeks of work) when he was hired and he asked about last week.
He is dating a nursing student his age that he met online (some app the kids use). They text constantly but only see each other once or twice a week. Either she comes over when we are out or they meet for dinner. Her FB page is very clean, no partying stuff and she looks pretty all American and wholesome.
He is basically either at work or at home. He hasn't really made any friends but he has only been home since November 17 and we are in a new state and he is shy, so....
He sometimes gets tips at work. He said he got a $50 tip the other day. Well actually the customer gave him $100 for him and his partner - $50 each. He said he thought of keeping it because the other guy wouldn't know but knew it was a test and did give him the money. I told him that I was proud of him for doing that.
He came home last night and said work asked him if he wanted to go to Atlanta to set up for some type of SuperBowl event. The company would pay for hotel and food naturally. He told them he'd think about it. I at first felt it would be a great experience and could be fun. Then I realized it may put his sobriety at risk so asked who he'd be going with. He wasn't yet sure. I told him that he shouldn't be around anyone that does drugs etc. But I know most 20 somethings do drink and so far he has not done anything - even smoked or vaped. Nothing! He said he liked to sleep in his own bed etc. and I said that sometimes you do have to push yourself a bit.
This morning I told him that if he didn't feel comfortable or that it would be safe for him he should not go and that we support that. He said he had already made that decision. I think it may just be too early for him to go away on his own.
I do feel that he is handling himself in a mature and responsible way. Naturally we want to keep pushing him forward but he said he just wants to work at his job for now and that is what he feels comfortable doing. We want him to join Coast Guard reserves and/or take college classes. He knows our goal is for him to be independent but he is just a long way from that.
It's hard to know what to do. I don't want to push him too hard but I don't want him to get complacent either. I am very thankful that he is sober and I know he could be six feet under like many that go down this very scary road.
I pray every day for strength and guidance to be the kind of parent that he needs.
