I sit here again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Contemplating the idocy of our society. Several monthes ago we were working so hard to get difficult child 1 on board with the fact she had to be ready to be on her own by 18 (which happens the end of May). Then our case worker decided that we needed to see if we could do another year with her in care. She checked and got permission to do this.

    So we were continuing with the thought we had over another year to have her ready to be on her own. Alas at our staffing on Monday we had the bomb dropped that her case was audited and they decided that she would be out on her 18th.

    The case worker was on the phone and the rest of us sat and looked at each other after she told us that and went....huh collectively. It was pointed out that she would absolutely not be ready then. That there was no way.

    The case worker fliberty gibbeted around about it. We had an education person in the meeting saying that we could set it up that her IEP goals are not being met yet and that she needs to stay in school. That should mean according to the guidelines she qualifies for longer services.

    Evidentally the case worker told the one counselor at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that she was again denied the ability but would verify it with her supervisor. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is prepared to fight to get the services extended as they don't understand why the county doesn't want to do what is in the best interest of difficult child 1.

    I have called the caseworker the last two days and she will not return my calls. Tommorow is the day I contact her supervisor if I haven't heard from her by noon. I will also be on the phone with as many people as it takes to remedy this.

    How can it be that both of my children that have problems are having the ball dropped. I am so angry that I could spit. I sat in the staffing after the case worker got off the phone and started to cry. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) folks don't understand any of this.

    To top all of this off when I went to the conference in February I learned of a ton of stuff the case worker has not done to prepare difficult child 1 for the transition. So more than one ball has been dropped here.

    Why no one wants to help my kids is beyond my comprehension. I can not believe the battle it is going to take to make these things happen. If we can. Otherwise I really don't know what we will be able to do for difficult child 1.

    And just to make things more fun difficult child 1 is in her cycle so she isn't cooperating with anyone right now. She skipped one of her classes in school seven times in February (why it took the school that many to let someone know it was happening is also beyond my ability to reason out).

    So in the difficult child 1 land things are much complicated right now. Why , why, why.

  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How incredibly frustrating.:sad-very: I'm sorry, things just shouldn't have to be this hard to get help for our kids. Gentle hugs coming your way.
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Beth -

    How frustrating. There *has* to be accountability. Somewhere.

  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Reaching out to give hugs. I am so very sorry.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    As much as the system touts "in the best interests" - I find as the child gets older, it's no longer the case. I find the system would rather spend the time/money on the younger "more salvageable" children.

    The thinking is skewed at best. I don't know how to make "the system" work anymore than you or I do. Interventions must come much sooner; TPRs must happen faster - all these chances of keeping families that just aren't going to make it for whatever reason throw our children into a lifelong nosedive of mental illness/addiction/ emotional illness.

    And then the "system" ages them out at 18 with very few skills to live their lives.

    I know you know this & I understand & feel your frustration & pain.

    I'll be praying that a miracle occurs; that one, just one caseworker gets with the program - follows the laws in place & does their job for your difficult child.

    Sending very gentle (((hugs))) this morning.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Linda said it well. To the county, they're not going to "waste" the little money they have on kids that are not salvageable and once they hit their teens they are frequently deemed a lost cause. Not fair, not right but that's the way it is.

    I fought, begged and screamed for help for my daughter. The attitude was pretty much that once the adoption was final, they weren't going to do a darn thing. It took a threat of a lawsuit to even get them to find me a therapist who specialized in adoption, for which I paid. When it came time for an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), they did assist -- they paid 1/3 of the housing costs, which still left me paying more than college tuition while she was in high school. She was considered a "lost cause." This was something I was told by her social worker who was actually fighting like crazy to help me get more assistance for her.

    Fight as hard and as much as you can. They are frequently wrong. My daughter is proof that she was and is not a lost cause but rather a work in progress.