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I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 677899" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Borderline personality disorder is actually one day going to be called emotional dysregulation disorder. These people do not have stability of emotions and will take you for a ride, like a roller coaster. Unless/until they seriously understand their disorder and WANT help (because it is hard work) it is unrealistic for anyone to expect such a person to be able to have a stable relationship with ANYONE. They can be all smiles one minute and screaming the next and there is no way to predict what sets them off. It is really not their faults, but they CAN go to intensive therapy and learn about their disorder and how to control their emotions. DBT is great therapy for Borderline (BPD), however the person has to admit she has a problem and MUST be willing to work hard. It is not within your power to in any way change this.</p><p></p><p>Until then, it is probably best not to expect your well meaning advances toward a better relationship to reap the results you would like. More likely, it is best to have an "anything goes" attitude. She may have good days or even weeks, but will not have stability until she accepts serious help. Self-harm (like cutting), suicide attempts and addiction are also often a part of borderline personality disorder. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes bpders mellow with age. Not always.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and more hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 677899, member: 1550"] Borderline personality disorder is actually one day going to be called emotional dysregulation disorder. These people do not have stability of emotions and will take you for a ride, like a roller coaster. Unless/until they seriously understand their disorder and WANT help (because it is hard work) it is unrealistic for anyone to expect such a person to be able to have a stable relationship with ANYONE. They can be all smiles one minute and screaming the next and there is no way to predict what sets them off. It is really not their faults, but they CAN go to intensive therapy and learn about their disorder and how to control their emotions. DBT is great therapy for Borderline (BPD), however the person has to admit she has a problem and MUST be willing to work hard. It is not within your power to in any way change this. Until then, it is probably best not to expect your well meaning advances toward a better relationship to reap the results you would like. More likely, it is best to have an "anything goes" attitude. She may have good days or even weeks, but will not have stability until she accepts serious help. Self-harm (like cutting), suicide attempts and addiction are also often a part of borderline personality disorder. Sometimes bpders mellow with age. Not always. Hugs and more hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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