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I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 677937" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>The more I read from you, the more your dtr & my son sound more & more alike. </p><p></p><p>I cld totally see my son saying that. The way I see it? It's to gain their (ppl offering housing) pity. Your dtr is using emotional manipulation for her gain. It's the addict in her, talking. You are the easiest target, you love her unconditionally, right? It's always us. It's love/hate. Up/down.</p><p></p><p>My son is super quick to revert to 'trash mom' mode. He will bring up anything & everything he can, to hurt me, when provoked. He even is making up blatant lies about his childhood the last few times. Yes, it hurts. But, I am tired. And, I know it's the addict talking. I feel sorry for him. I pray to St. Anne for him every day that I remember to. For his daily safety & for sobriety for him. </p><p></p><p>He also had a bad bad accident last March & also could've died...or been paralyzed. His guardian angels surrounded him, he is fine, healed & unscathed. Thank God. I've seen a bit less risk taking since that accident. </p><p></p><p>As I read your part about you not wanting to bash your dtr to those ppl, I agree & think EXACTLY like you. They do enough to ruin their own reputation, alienate others. I do not feel right adding to that. Part of detaching from their tumultuous lives is letting them deal with EVERYTHING. If the ppl let her move in, that is their choice. You are her 'mom', not her 'mommy'. I don't think you should be involved in that situation at all. Let her do what she does. Time will tell if she burns THAT bridge...you don't need to start the fire for her.</p><p></p><p>My son has been living in current home since end of November. He's talked often about the older guy he rents room from. A few times I've been tempted to contact that man to see how my son is doing, in his opinion. I think, I know he is aware of some of my son's issues. But I realized very quickly that contacting him was a bad idea. Son is 23, I need let go & to stop seeking info via 'others' for my own sanity. It's not good for son. It's not detaching for me. </p><p></p><p>If those ppl who are housing your dtr try to contact you, I'd avoid at all costs. Don't answer phone. If they get you on the spot, I'd just say 'I need to refer you back to my dtr, she's an adult..'</p><p></p><p>It is all so hard. And the road is bumpy.....(((hugs))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 677937, member: 19966"] The more I read from you, the more your dtr & my son sound more & more alike. I cld totally see my son saying that. The way I see it? It's to gain their (ppl offering housing) pity. Your dtr is using emotional manipulation for her gain. It's the addict in her, talking. You are the easiest target, you love her unconditionally, right? It's always us. It's love/hate. Up/down. My son is super quick to revert to 'trash mom' mode. He will bring up anything & everything he can, to hurt me, when provoked. He even is making up blatant lies about his childhood the last few times. Yes, it hurts. But, I am tired. And, I know it's the addict talking. I feel sorry for him. I pray to St. Anne for him every day that I remember to. For his daily safety & for sobriety for him. He also had a bad bad accident last March & also could've died...or been paralyzed. His guardian angels surrounded him, he is fine, healed & unscathed. Thank God. I've seen a bit less risk taking since that accident. As I read your part about you not wanting to bash your dtr to those ppl, I agree & think EXACTLY like you. They do enough to ruin their own reputation, alienate others. I do not feel right adding to that. Part of detaching from their tumultuous lives is letting them deal with EVERYTHING. If the ppl let her move in, that is their choice. You are her 'mom', not her 'mommy'. I don't think you should be involved in that situation at all. Let her do what she does. Time will tell if she burns THAT bridge...you don't need to start the fire for her. My son has been living in current home since end of November. He's talked often about the older guy he rents room from. A few times I've been tempted to contact that man to see how my son is doing, in his opinion. I think, I know he is aware of some of my son's issues. But I realized very quickly that contacting him was a bad idea. Son is 23, I need let go & to stop seeking info via 'others' for my own sanity. It's not good for son. It's not detaching for me. If those ppl who are housing your dtr try to contact you, I'd avoid at all costs. Don't answer phone. If they get you on the spot, I'd just say 'I need to refer you back to my dtr, she's an adult..' It is all so hard. And the road is bumpy.....(((hugs)))) [/QUOTE]
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