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Parent Emeritus
I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 677942" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It will be easier for you if you just accept that at her age you can't help her and to respect her decisions, even if you disapprove of them. Where she lives is her own decision. Whether she gets help is her own decision. I think you may feel best if you back out. She can do better if she gets help. She just won't. I wouldn't enable her decision not to get help or admit she is abusive to everyone she meets. She probably could hit rock bottom and then go for serious therapy. She may not, but she <em><strong>will not</strong></em> if you put up with her behavior.</p><p></p><p>I also would tell anyone who wants to talk to you about her that, "She is of age and you need to talk directly to her. " And stick to it. There is nothing you can do to help a situation somebody else wants to talk to you about regarding a legal adult. You can back out of it completely. It isn't your business anymore.</p><p></p><p>Don't go broke trying to help her. There are places she can go, if she really wants to, where she doesn't have to pay a lot and can help herself. You need the money. You matter as much as she does. You seem to care more about her well being than she does. That never works out well. SHE has to want it enough to find help and find ways to fund it. She needs to be the woman that she is. She is no longer that cute little kid you remember.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 677942, member: 1550"] It will be easier for you if you just accept that at her age you can't help her and to respect her decisions, even if you disapprove of them. Where she lives is her own decision. Whether she gets help is her own decision. I think you may feel best if you back out. She can do better if she gets help. She just won't. I wouldn't enable her decision not to get help or admit she is abusive to everyone she meets. She probably could hit rock bottom and then go for serious therapy. She may not, but she [I][B]will not[/B][/I] if you put up with her behavior. I also would tell anyone who wants to talk to you about her that, "She is of age and you need to talk directly to her. " And stick to it. There is nothing you can do to help a situation somebody else wants to talk to you about regarding a legal adult. You can back out of it completely. It isn't your business anymore. Don't go broke trying to help her. There are places she can go, if she really wants to, where she doesn't have to pay a lot and can help herself. You need the money. You matter as much as she does. You seem to care more about her well being than she does. That never works out well. SHE has to want it enough to find help and find ways to fund it. She needs to be the woman that she is. She is no longer that cute little kid you remember. Big hugs. [/QUOTE]
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I spent the morning in tears...
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