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I spoke to the warden today.
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 23898" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Thank you Suz and Karen. It is so odd, whenever they tell me that difficult child is going to be in prison for a while I feel almost relieved that I won't have to deal with him in person for another while. Then I get so angry with myslef for feeling that. I hate that he is in there and am concerned for his wellbeing but I also don't want him out until I know that he is going to put forth a real effort to change. I hurt for him, but I don't want to deal with his dysfunction. </p><p></p><p>For instance last month when he was going to be paroled (before he did that incredibly stupid thing of unscrewing the vent cover). I was willing to help him get his placement and also get him plugged into a good support system but I didn't want to deal with him beyond that. I thought about letting him stay here until a place opened for him but I really didn't want to do it. On one hand I still feel a responsibility to help him due to his disabilities but on the other hand I just want to be free of his turmoil. My daily life is so much easier wthout him in it but there is also this terrible sadness and frustration just under the surface. </p><p></p><p>It isn't so much that I'm conflicted. It is that I am frustrated that there is no really good place for my son that is affordable. I can find affordable places but they are simply not the right place for him and putting him in one would probably do nothing more than set him up for failure. The ones that are right for him are so incredibly expensive that I would have to win the mega millions jackpot to pay for them. </p><p></p><p>On top of all of that I often wonder if bringing him to the level of functioning he is at was absolutely the wrong thing to do for him. I honestly believe that if I hadn't done all the therapy, all the Occupational Therapist (OT) and PT, the Special Education, tutors, and special private schools he would be better off. Without all that intervention he would have been so obviously disabled that he would not be in this place.</p><p></p><p>While I know there was no way to predict this outcome it still saddens me that helping him might actually have hurt him more in the long run. Thanks for listening I guess I having a bad day. </p><p>-RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 23898, member: 2315"] Thank you Suz and Karen. It is so odd, whenever they tell me that difficult child is going to be in prison for a while I feel almost relieved that I won't have to deal with him in person for another while. Then I get so angry with myslef for feeling that. I hate that he is in there and am concerned for his wellbeing but I also don't want him out until I know that he is going to put forth a real effort to change. I hurt for him, but I don't want to deal with his dysfunction. For instance last month when he was going to be paroled (before he did that incredibly stupid thing of unscrewing the vent cover). I was willing to help him get his placement and also get him plugged into a good support system but I didn't want to deal with him beyond that. I thought about letting him stay here until a place opened for him but I really didn't want to do it. On one hand I still feel a responsibility to help him due to his disabilities but on the other hand I just want to be free of his turmoil. My daily life is so much easier wthout him in it but there is also this terrible sadness and frustration just under the surface. It isn't so much that I'm conflicted. It is that I am frustrated that there is no really good place for my son that is affordable. I can find affordable places but they are simply not the right place for him and putting him in one would probably do nothing more than set him up for failure. The ones that are right for him are so incredibly expensive that I would have to win the mega millions jackpot to pay for them. On top of all of that I often wonder if bringing him to the level of functioning he is at was absolutely the wrong thing to do for him. I honestly believe that if I hadn't done all the therapy, all the Occupational Therapist (OT) and PT, the Special Education, tutors, and special private schools he would be better off. Without all that intervention he would have been so obviously disabled that he would not be in this place. While I know there was no way to predict this outcome it still saddens me that helping him might actually have hurt him more in the long run. Thanks for listening I guess I having a bad day. -RM [/QUOTE]
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