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I still haven't seen my ex-easy child grown son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 65672" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>'t seen or heard from ex-easy child grown son</p><p>MidwestMom MidwestMom Online</p><p>10.CD Hall of Fame</p><p></p><p></p><p>Registered: 06/27/04</p><p>Posts: 4935</p><p>Loc: Wisconsin </p><p>Most of you probably know that since the son I adopted from Hong Kong at age six (now almost thirty) met a wonderful (sarcasm noted) Chinese woman two years ago and hasn't had anything to do with our family since then. He has also found a very wacky form of extreme fundamentalism. This means the Bible is LITERAL. Of course, since the Bible ISN'T literal, it's HIS interpretation of what "literal" means, and I do believe that his beliefs are that your "family" are those who believe the way you do. I can't and never will believe his way, and, for the sake of hub and my four other kids AND my grandchild-to-be (YES, I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMA!!!), I can't fake something I just don't feel. I'm not particularly religious--I'm a regular Christian who doesn't always go to church and doesn't follow everything the Bible says and I'm sure my son thinks I'm a walking heathen. But I really don't know for sure if that's why he dumped all of us, or if it's his wife (I can't help it--I barely know her, but did you ever meet somebody who smiled at your, but gave off vibes of pure evil?)</p><p>The first time i met her, my daughter pulled me to a corner and said, "Mom, I think she's a witch." My daughter was serious. The strange thing is, I had the same eerie vibe from her, yet she's a fundamentalist Christian andl, trust me, a big reason my son becamse that (ahem) devout. So whether she or the religion is doing this (or both) we have no idea because he never told us and, when confronted, talks in circles and never comes to the point. We've quit contacting him because he clearly will not recipricate nor does he want us in his life. His autistic brother will be fourteen on Aug. 23 and his own birthday is Aug. 30th. I go to visit my grown kids around that time of year in, what used to be, a joint birthday celebration for the two kids, but my grown kid never comes anymore. The only acknowledgement I get for the gifts I send is a note from his wife, addressed to me by my first name, and signed Scott and Karen (no love). Scott never writes. She does. Sometimes she inserts messages like "Thank you for such a wonderful son." I may be cynical, but I get the weird sense that she is gloating when she says that. She knows he hasn't contacted us. Why would she write that? At any rate, I don't even expect my autistic son to get a card from them this year.</p><p>I'm moving on, but this son used to be the best person--a shining star in my life. However, my other son and his wife are expecting MY FIRST GRANDCHILD!!!! and my other kids are doing well, and I guess I should count my blessings. There will always be a void, and I don't believe there is anything I can do to breech the gap between me and my other son. I've tried it all--anything you can suggest, trust me, I've tried.</p><p>Just a vent, I guess. Thanks for reading it.</p><p>_________________________</p><p>Me, over 21, lifelong mood/neurological problems, doing great</p><p>Tom, hub of 10 years</p><p>Mark, 29, easy child, anxiety disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)-Lamictal and Xanax SR</p><p>Julie, 23, former difficult child/drug abuser, clean now for four years, adopted from Korea, my best friend</p><p>Lucas 14, adopted at two, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified</p><p>Nicole, 11, easy child adopted at birth, sweet, social, loving, some Learning Disability (LD)'s</p><p>Scott, 30, adopted from Hong Kong at age 6/doesn't want family contact right now--nobody knows why. Attachment problems?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 65672, member: 1550"] 't seen or heard from ex-easy child grown son MidwestMom MidwestMom Online 10.CD Hall of Fame Registered: 06/27/04 Posts: 4935 Loc: Wisconsin Most of you probably know that since the son I adopted from Hong Kong at age six (now almost thirty) met a wonderful (sarcasm noted) Chinese woman two years ago and hasn't had anything to do with our family since then. He has also found a very wacky form of extreme fundamentalism. This means the Bible is LITERAL. Of course, since the Bible ISN'T literal, it's HIS interpretation of what "literal" means, and I do believe that his beliefs are that your "family" are those who believe the way you do. I can't and never will believe his way, and, for the sake of hub and my four other kids AND my grandchild-to-be (YES, I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMA!!!), I can't fake something I just don't feel. I'm not particularly religious--I'm a regular Christian who doesn't always go to church and doesn't follow everything the Bible says and I'm sure my son thinks I'm a walking heathen. But I really don't know for sure if that's why he dumped all of us, or if it's his wife (I can't help it--I barely know her, but did you ever meet somebody who smiled at your, but gave off vibes of pure evil?) The first time i met her, my daughter pulled me to a corner and said, "Mom, I think she's a witch." My daughter was serious. The strange thing is, I had the same eerie vibe from her, yet she's a fundamentalist Christian andl, trust me, a big reason my son becamse that (ahem) devout. So whether she or the religion is doing this (or both) we have no idea because he never told us and, when confronted, talks in circles and never comes to the point. We've quit contacting him because he clearly will not recipricate nor does he want us in his life. His autistic brother will be fourteen on Aug. 23 and his own birthday is Aug. 30th. I go to visit my grown kids around that time of year in, what used to be, a joint birthday celebration for the two kids, but my grown kid never comes anymore. The only acknowledgement I get for the gifts I send is a note from his wife, addressed to me by my first name, and signed Scott and Karen (no love). Scott never writes. She does. Sometimes she inserts messages like "Thank you for such a wonderful son." I may be cynical, but I get the weird sense that she is gloating when she says that. She knows he hasn't contacted us. Why would she write that? At any rate, I don't even expect my autistic son to get a card from them this year. I'm moving on, but this son used to be the best person--a shining star in my life. However, my other son and his wife are expecting MY FIRST GRANDCHILD!!!! and my other kids are doing well, and I guess I should count my blessings. There will always be a void, and I don't believe there is anything I can do to breech the gap between me and my other son. I've tried it all--anything you can suggest, trust me, I've tried. Just a vent, I guess. Thanks for reading it. _________________________ Me, over 21, lifelong mood/neurological problems, doing great Tom, hub of 10 years Mark, 29, easy child, anxiety disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)-Lamictal and Xanax SR Julie, 23, former difficult child/drug abuser, clean now for four years, adopted from Korea, my best friend Lucas 14, adopted at two, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified Nicole, 11, easy child adopted at birth, sweet, social, loving, some Learning Disability (LD)'s Scott, 30, adopted from Hong Kong at age 6/doesn't want family contact right now--nobody knows why. Attachment problems? [/QUOTE]
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