I swear I'm going to plus out!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, Feb 7, 2010.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie will NOT give her ODD a break! She's given me a horrible headache, my IBS is acting up, and the muscles in my neck and shoulders are so tight that I just know I'm in for a night of teeth grinding.

    She will do nothing that's asked of her without whining, arguing or being outright belligerent! I can get nothing done when she's home & awake because she's so difficult and disruptive. That means I'm running around like a crazy person during school and after she (finally!) gets to bed. And it's not like my standards are high...

    I'm exhausted.:bloodshot:
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Duckie is being such an ODD expert. I'm in the same spot with my difficult child. I'll join you for a drink:wine:
  3. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    My solution is simple and has been perfect for me. After difficult child asks me the 349th stupid question while I am trying to relax and after he does the 29th stupid thing I take the rest of the day to be oblivious and unconcerned. He asks me question # 350 and I say "go ask your Dad, Mom is off today." Just that simple act is so freeing. Even if the chaos stays I still can tune it out and be mostly left alone. :whiteflag:

    I do the neck tension/headache/teeth grinding. I think I may have just started some spasms in my tummy. No irritable bowel diagnosis as it happens once a month or so. Reminds me of labor pains, somewhere in the area of 5 to 7 centimeters dialated without an epidural. (I am an authority in that too):faint:

    About the neck issue, it really did almost cripple me with pain. Of course reducing stress is a biggie. lol

    Other tricks that can be done easily enough

    1. Good pillow. I sometimes get a new cheap pillow every month or two. I have noticed if my pillow is just a little off the perfect fluff I wake up in pain. I am a combo of side belly sleeper.

    2. Drink plenty of water. The more hydrated I stay the less aches in general I get.

    3. A nice soak in the bath with candles, incense, music the whole nine yards. Seems like a lot of work and some days I am too burnt to want to be bothered with it and I have to force myself to. 20 minutes later and I feel like a new woman. The freedom to think clearly in peace and quiet helps quiet my mind and ease what stress I can by processing the days events.

    4. Horse liniment is my miracle cure. It's a lot like ben gay or icy hot but super mega strong. Has a minty smell that will melt off your nose but oh my goodness the way it soaks in and eases the tightness. I used to almost bathe my neck in it and it was the only thing that helped, even more than muscle relaxers which it helped me get off of. You can order it online or get it at feed stores. It does not need a prescription it's got menthol and a few other things. Comes in liquid or in a gel. Gel smells a bit better and is easier to put on. It gets your skin hot and cool tingly but not burning.

    That, a couple tylenol and a glass of water before a nights sleep cured me. I used to have all day pain several days a week. I got back on track and haven't used anything in over 6 months. It just took a few weeks to slowly ease the knots out.

    You can also use a steamy towel to get the liniment to soak in deep. it's pure bliss after being in agony. Tons of old timers use this folk remedy, it is perfectly safe. It's original purpose is for race horses. Those animals are abused, forced to do extreme exercise that damages their bodies and this stuff keeps them in tip top shape. Works for all sorts of aches and pains.

    Pain has a way of eroding at the mind. The world seems so much brighter when you finally just feel normal again.

    I hope with all my might you get there.
  4. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    okay, as if I didn't blubber enough already

    Heat is wonderful too especially in combination with the liniment.

    Get a new sock, fill it with cheap ole' white rice, add some smell goods like lavendar or cinnamon if you have it. Tie a knot at the end so the rice stays in.

    Put it in the microwave, put a cup of water next to it for steam so the rice doesn't scorch and heat up for about 1 1/2 minute.

    Voila, generic version of those fancy microwave heat pads. Magic for sore muscles. Feels so good on the neck as I fall asleep and no electric burns to worry about.
  5. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I'll take raging over constant whining, arguing, and belligerence any day.

  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    TM, hate hate hate this behavior. Duckie needs a good "romp" in the snow, preferably head first. ;)

    Seriously, with this winter, your family is likely feeling cabin fever; cabin fever & difficult children do not mix well.

    Hoping Duckie settles in early tonight & things are calmer. Take today for a mommy break - to recharge before the Duckster gets home.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry things are so hectic with Duckie right now. After she goes to school this morning, give yourself permission to catch up on you - not errands or housework - YOU.

    Do what relaxes you - read, bath, cup of tea by the fire.......Take just an hour if that's all you spare. But just make that hour about just TM. When the hour is up, go on about your normal business.

  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks for the support and suggestions. I don't know how much time I'll get today... there are a lot of "gotta do" things today. I just sent the following email to her teacher; AR = accelerated reader.

    Hi Mrs. X,

    Just so you know, I told Duckie last week that reading her AR is her responsibility. I don't think she realizes that today is AR and she probably hasn't read it. Please let her face the consequence of a bad AR test because she's not prepared.

  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's never too late, or too early, to accept consequences!
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    A story in pictures for TM by Star.

    Duckie...Auntie Star sees you becoming a SWEETIE....for Mommie.

    The end.
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope Duckie's calmed down and you have some peaceful quiet!
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support.

    So I'm sitting here, looking at the clock and thinking:

    "Uh oh... only a few more minutes until she's home!!!"

  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh Ducky I hope you are being a princess today.
    TM I hope you had a relaxing few hours...
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    So... she had a mixed day. Which, sadly, is an improvement.

    She failed the test but read her new AR book twice.

    She lost free time for acting up in lunch... and now agrees that she shouldn't hang out with classmate "B" becuase she can't control herself around "B".

    She made a valentine craft for me but had a fit when she realized that I was still having her go to bed a half hour early since she's still overtired and had an extremely difficult morning.

    As an aside, I was deeply saddened today when I ran into CVS to pick up Valentine's Day cards for husband & Duckie. I had the most difficult time picking a card for Duckie... I just don't like her when she's behaving this way. :(
  15. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    TM, I'm sorry Duckie continues to engage in these behaviors.

    I will offer you the same advice I would offer anyone on this board -- I think it's important to figure out what's fueling her oppositional behaviors. In other words, what is the underlying problem? Is she anxious? Is something going on at school? Is she distressed over her grandmother's death?

    Even though it feels like it, Duckie is not doing this to be a pill to you. You are her target because she feels safe to express some deep emotional turmoil that's going on within herself that she's too young to express in a more mature way. It's your job to figure out what that turmoil is so she can release it and channel it more appropriately.

    A wise mother once told me that our children need our love most when they are acting in their most unlovable ways.

    Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.
  16. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hope today is better! HUGS!
  17. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks SW & Wendy.

    SW- I truly believe that Duckie becomes anxious after she becomes overtired. It's a scenario that has played out numerous times. This time, she was a little out of whack after the holidays (no surprise there) but pulling herself back together and getting back on track with her schedule when my mother died. This, of course, caused further disruption just when she needed it least and some emotional upset. Top it off with her best little buddy moving across the country and another not-so-nice kid attempting to fill the void at school and POOF!

    We have ODD Girl: ready to rage at a moment's notice, able to argue a point ad nauseum with absolutely no logic used and the giver of stress tics in parent's everywhere.

    She did better today. I advised her to stay away the girl that instigates trouble at school since Duckie can't seem to make good choices when she is involved. I also told her that the lunch lady and her teacher know that I don't want them sitting together at lunch. I stressed that this is NOT the other girl's ("B") fault... that Duckie was making her own bad choices.

    I also told Duckie that a difficult morning would result in an early bedtime that night. Not a punishment, but a natural consequence. There will also be no play dates. This morning went a lot better.

    She is working independently on her homework right now. My good girl is back (for now).
  18. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Well, I hope the winds don't shift any time soon... FWIW, my easy child gets very much like what you're describing when she's overtired and/or hungry.