I think I have finally gotten my degree in Detachment 101

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Marcie Mac, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Gotta love it too. On Friday, Cheech got dressed up and went to a wedding (His Boss). At 11:30 the phone rings, and its him - I know when a conversation starts "mmmm, mom, its me" and...he is in jail. He tried to break up a fight, police were called and of course everyone ran cept him. Turns out when they ran his name, he had an outstanding warrant from 2007. I remember that arrest and his bonehead move of not giving his true legal name, you know, the one that is TATTOOD on the back of his right shoulder :sigh:

    There were no requests for attorneys, or for bail, or to come and see him, panic lest I don't put money on his "book" - actually admitted he should have taken care of it, and didn't - his bad. And could I call his friend to get his phone and wallet for him please, and he was sorry for calling collect. He was more worried about his job than anything else. Kept his cool with the police who were ragging on him comming in wearing a suit and tie. Had court on Tuesday, pled guilty, and judge said he had to stay till Friday - no fine, no probation. But he got out on Tuesday night - they don't keep you in jail here in Ca unless you have heavy duty time due to overcrowding situation. I remember at one time jail was no big thing to him - its been a few years, and a reminder of having to sleep on a metal shelf with no blankets, having a PMJ sandwitch for breakfast, Baloney Sandwich for lunch and another PMJ for dinner for a few days - being crammed in a 60 person dorm that had 175 people in there I think made a lasting impression this time - he was so grateful he got there early enough so didn't have to sleep on a cement floor sans any blankets or pillows. He got out around midnight, but was up early and got ready for work and left.

    And as far as me on Friday, went back to bed with no problems falling back to asleep :) Think I am going to throw myself a graduation party now..

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wow. I think you deserve a huge party!!! Congrats. I think you have graduated from detachment. :)

    Not so bad on his part too. He owned it, took responsibility for it, took care of it, and went back to work asap. Awesome!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You have EARNED that party!!! I will bring my secret recipe cookies that are amazing with wine or whiskey!

    He sure has grown a lot - awesome that jail bothered him but he handled it all like an adult!!! Lots to be proud of in his behavior AND in the way you handled it all too!!!!
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awesome! I'd say both of you have come a long way :)
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Great job Marcie. Cheech is growing up.
    Can you believe it? When our boys were 18, 19, 20 yrs old we didn't think they would ever get to this point. There is success in our stories. Hard earned success but success nonetheless.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL...The title should have been "he went to a fight and a wedding broke out"

    Our boys! I am proud of you and him. Maybe this older crew has grown up at last but boy they did put us through the ringer back then didnt they?
  7. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Fran, seems like mid to late 20's is the changing point for all of our boys, they are all alive and maintaining pretty well I think ( all things considered). And the best thing is that all of us have managed to remain sane. LOL And Janet, putting us thru the ringer (and way too many spin cycles) sums it up :)

  8. Elsieshaye

    Elsieshaye Member

    Oh, good - only 10 more years to go, then! :woohoo: LOL!

  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Elsie...many of the profs have said that the frontal lobe matures around 24/25 and I really believe that is when the true changes finally take place and we see the results of who people are going to be. I know it has happened in my case with me, I believe its happening with Cory, and also my older two kids. It certainly seems to be happening to many of the kids that brought us "old-timers" here so many years ago.
  10. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Agree...you should have a party. A REAL celebration of some kind. For real.

    When reflecting on my two children, our easy child had a crummy year around 17.Then did well for a long time. But did exceptional around age 23. I thank G-d daily.
    Our difficult child is now 23. Still problematic. However, she seems to be (excuse me, while I throw this salt over my shoulder and light this candle, etc.) slowing down a tad with the extreme craziness.
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Marcie, was this the same day you took the picture of him in his suit?

    I'm proud of Cheech..............and even prouder of YOU. :wine:

  12. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Yep, same day Suz - he does clean up nice :) Looked the same when he got out as well ROFLMBO

  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    If I had one...I'd send you a cap and gown! So glad that you have found the right balance and really hopeful that he will be able to move forward. Hugs. DDD
  14. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Another vote for a graduation party for you! Wonderful how Cheech handled himself, AND how you did.

    And I have a very silly question: What is a PMJ sandwich? I can't imagine what the M stands for...
  15. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Peanut Butter & Jelly - put wrong initials LOL
  16. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Congrats to you and difficult child!
  17. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks Marcie. I was wracking my brain there for a while. Whew!
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Congratulations on your Graduation! Class of 2011! I think you have graduated Suma Cheech Laude
  19. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Marcie, that is so encouraging, and sounds as if he has really matured. Congratulations! And on your detachment. I am in awe of you!

    It's interesting what some of you have said about their brains "getting it" around their mid-twenties. My difficult child is now on the other side of the world, in Australia (sorry Marge!). He's been there for 9 months now. Has just started yet another new job and I hope he will keep it. He is just about managing to hold his life together although I know he just squeaks through all the time vis-a-vis money, and he has a large overdraft in his bank account here in Jerusalem. He is 25 now, just last month, and has started contacting us less often on Skype, which is "a good thing" and I see it as a sign that he is beginning to get his act together. I hope I'm right.

    I'm just enjoying my quality of life with him so far away. I had forgotten how calm life could be. I think I am still emotionally damaged, though, and I don't think I have true peace of mind ever. I know one day soon he will come back.

    Love, Esther
  20. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Esther, the peace of mind comment was interesting. I didn't think I would ever get near to that point. I think it depends really on how much good news you see and hear (in my case its "see" because Danny has always lived at home - neither he or his brother have any inclinations of moving out) - but at this point in their lives they are in the "roommate catagory" LOL