So this morning I was trying to print out something for a DIY craft ( trying so hard to find some peace) and son had left his banking up... I clicked on it of course .... Maybe I shouldn't have but I've seen some red flags lately.... And sure enough it looks like he is dealing again. I lost it. I'm so so angry. We paid off almost 3000 to a dealer to get him out last winter. He promised us he wouldn't deal again. He has limited use of a car he shares with his brother ( who works an honest job 40 hours /week) and I'm taking him off the insurance as of today. I tried to go by his appartment but he didn't come home last night... Big surprise there. I can't stop crying. My husband went to work, and we are supposed to see friends from away tonight... Husbands are golfing , ladies at another friends house. I can't go. I can't face anyone, and I certainly can't face the small talk about kids... Said friend from aways son is a childhood friend of my son and has a huge prestigious scholarship that only 80 kids across Canada get every year. I just can't do it. I will say I'm sick.... Again.... His choices not only ruin his life they have harmed my friendships and family relationships. I cant be honest with anyone for fear of judgement or it getting him arrested. He has no idea the hell this is. I think I'm finally really really angry . I work weekends at a shelter for homeless youth and the money I made last year went to drug dealers... How ironic??? I can't live like this anymore. I'm going to tell him I'm not supporting him in any way anymore, no food, nothing. He can come and see me when he decides to grow up and become a real adult. I can't face this... I know I have to say those words but I'm so scared too, with his history of depression . Omg... What do I do?