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Substance Abuse
I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 696057" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Colleen</p><p></p><p>So sorry you are sad. I am sad too.</p><p></p><p>As I told my husband, I am 100% better than I was but not yet at 100% of where I need to be.</p><p></p><p>I have been working REAL HARD on myself. I have given my son all of me for almost six years. Guess what? It did no good for him. It didn't do any good for me either.</p><p></p><p>I have had to detach from my son. I have had to push him out of the nest. I actually have very little contact with him right now. I never call or text him since the overdose on Father's Day. If he reaches out I respond. I have changed a lot. I am sure he can see it. This is not the way I've ever been. He is my baby. We were always so close. This in no way means that I do not love him with all my heart.</p><p></p><p>I will continue to detach and continue to push him to take care of his own problems and make his own decisions. I will keep redirecting him that HE can figure this out. HE is an adult. I cried at my therapist last night. It's like having to learn how to be a mom in a different way. It's having to learn how to be a human being in a different way. It is huge and it is hard.</p><p></p><p>I am fortunate that I have a small group of wonderful girlfriends that I can talk to about this. They are like sisters and they are my childhood friends. We don't judge one another. I am on the "outs" with my older sister and brother right now due to things my son has done that are drug related. I have been there for them but they don't understand what I'm dealing with even though my brother's son died of a heroin overdose a few years ago at 30. They were estranged at the time and all my brother says is that my J will end up like him. I don't have the energy to fix those relationships. Someday I hope to.</p><p></p><p>Now you have to face reality Colleen. Get angry if that's what you need to do. I do think you should seek therapy for yourself if you can. NA or AA or whatever it is that gives YOU some peace. You can't fix him. He has to want it.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 696057, member: 15032"] Colleen So sorry you are sad. I am sad too. As I told my husband, I am 100% better than I was but not yet at 100% of where I need to be. I have been working REAL HARD on myself. I have given my son all of me for almost six years. Guess what? It did no good for him. It didn't do any good for me either. I have had to detach from my son. I have had to push him out of the nest. I actually have very little contact with him right now. I never call or text him since the overdose on Father's Day. If he reaches out I respond. I have changed a lot. I am sure he can see it. This is not the way I've ever been. He is my baby. We were always so close. This in no way means that I do not love him with all my heart. I will continue to detach and continue to push him to take care of his own problems and make his own decisions. I will keep redirecting him that HE can figure this out. HE is an adult. I cried at my therapist last night. It's like having to learn how to be a mom in a different way. It's having to learn how to be a human being in a different way. It is huge and it is hard. I am fortunate that I have a small group of wonderful girlfriends that I can talk to about this. They are like sisters and they are my childhood friends. We don't judge one another. I am on the "outs" with my older sister and brother right now due to things my son has done that are drug related. I have been there for them but they don't understand what I'm dealing with even though my brother's son died of a heroin overdose a few years ago at 30. They were estranged at the time and all my brother says is that my J will end up like him. I don't have the energy to fix those relationships. Someday I hope to. Now you have to face reality Colleen. Get angry if that's what you need to do. I do think you should seek therapy for yourself if you can. NA or AA or whatever it is that gives YOU some peace. You can't fix him. He has to want it. :notalone::staystrong: [/QUOTE]
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