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Substance Abuse
I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
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<blockquote data-quote="ColleenB" data-source="post: 696070" data-attributes="member: 19887"><p>I honestly know I can't go out tonight with our friends.... I can't even stop crying....</p><p></p><p>My husband is home for lunch and getting ready to go golfing. I wish I could be more detached. I am not there yet.</p><p></p><p>I know I need to talk to someone. We have gone in the past to counselling. It helps some.</p><p></p><p>I have a few people I can talk to, they know, but I just feel like such a downer.... I'm exhausted by my own sadness, I can't imagine unloading it on someone else right now.</p><p></p><p>I was always the fun and happy friend, the one who hosted parties and planned trips and outings... Now I just want to hide. I had started to go out more when he moved out a few months ago, but now I'm back at the beginning again. I'm in the hole. Maybe he hasn't hit his bottom but maybe I have.... I can no longer even pretend to not be completely disappointed in him. I've been telling him I love him and don't hold the past against him. But this is the present and he is dealing drugs. It looks like from the bank statements it's only been a few weeks... I knew he was off! He has been grumpy and not nice again.</p><p></p><p>I think being honest is the best route here. Pretending to not know is toxic to me... I am a very open person. I don't hide my emotions or feelings well with those I love.</p><p></p><p>My husband wants me to wait until he is back from golf to confront him. I told him I can't promise that. If Son calls I will talk to him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ColleenB, post: 696070, member: 19887"] I honestly know I can't go out tonight with our friends.... I can't even stop crying.... My husband is home for lunch and getting ready to go golfing. I wish I could be more detached. I am not there yet. I know I need to talk to someone. We have gone in the past to counselling. It helps some. I have a few people I can talk to, they know, but I just feel like such a downer.... I'm exhausted by my own sadness, I can't imagine unloading it on someone else right now. I was always the fun and happy friend, the one who hosted parties and planned trips and outings... Now I just want to hide. I had started to go out more when he moved out a few months ago, but now I'm back at the beginning again. I'm in the hole. Maybe he hasn't hit his bottom but maybe I have.... I can no longer even pretend to not be completely disappointed in him. I've been telling him I love him and don't hold the past against him. But this is the present and he is dealing drugs. It looks like from the bank statements it's only been a few weeks... I knew he was off! He has been grumpy and not nice again. I think being honest is the best route here. Pretending to not know is toxic to me... I am a very open person. I don't hide my emotions or feelings well with those I love. My husband wants me to wait until he is back from golf to confront him. I told him I can't promise that. If Son calls I will talk to him. [/QUOTE]
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I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
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