I think my entire life is insane

[Hound dog]

I wouldn't recommend Billy and Buck moving in together. I can see that turning into a drama filled nightmare with Billy coming out the major loser. Uh, not a good idea. But I do think nudging Tony to help Billy out the door into adulthood is a good sound idea, and long overdue. Perhaps if you press that you're short changing the kid if you don't at least make him "try on" adult independence it would strike a chord.

Janet, has Cory checked with community action (or whatever similar you have) down there to see about free cells for low income? It's supposed to be all over the US, I just don't know who would handle it in your area. Here it's our county community action. Katie received a free cell and it loads with so many minutes every month. Plenty of mins......except her mom will literally talk her to death and use them up in the first week. (this I know is true) That might be an option to help with the phone.

You're right, buck needs to do his own paperwork for welfare......if not, then Tony can help him, it was his idea to let him stay.

I like the recipe book idea...........maybe you could write them down as you plan the week's meals? Otherwise, they're 3 grown men, I'm sure they won't starve. If they go hungry that is their fault.

I am wondering though, you mention Tony's failing health, and this has me worried. I think this is tying in with the other behavior you're seeing. He's scared, and men show scared differently......often comes out as short tempered, bossy, ect ect.

As for the arm thing........If it does it again, see if you can get him to make a trip to the ER. He needs that checked, asap.

Why when it rains does it always have to pour?? I'm so sorry hon.

((hugs))

 

[buddy]

Oh Janet - I am so so sorry that things are so rough right now. Seems to come in droves - for all of us. {{{hugs}}}

You know, I really like the idea of Billy and Buck getting a place together. Seems to make sense.

I think you need a meal calendar. I used to do that when my kids were young. I was so sick of making the same 8 or so dinners that I knew everyone would eat. And if I made something 1 of the kids didn't like, they would get all bent out of shape. So I set out the cookbooks and the sale flyer the night before I went to the grocery store, we sat down and everyone picked a entree for "their" night of the week. And one person had to pick something brand new from the cookbook. It worked pretty well - no one got bent out of shape because they knew that their own turn was coming up.

I think you could do that with the cooking. Decide as a group or you decide (or you and Tony) what you are making for the week. Write it on the calendar and divide up the cooking depending on your schedule. Hot dogs with fries and salad on Wed - Billy. Ground CHUCK hamburgers with cole slaw on Thursday - Buck. Venison Stew on Saturday - Tony. Etc. Then go to the store and get the ingredients. And if Billy or someone doesn't have a clue how to make it- write down the instructions.

Billy sounds like a lot of husbands I know. Including my own those first few years we were married. He'd offer to cook and then it was "where's this, do we have that, what's the difference between chop and dice? etc..." and he'd still manage to do something dumb like substitute horseradish sauce in water instead of chicken broth because he thought it would work - BARF

MEN

At the very list... group the ingredients that go together for meals so they dont use up things that you need... if they screw up ONE meal then it is ONE but if they take stuff from a few and then screw it up then four meals are ruined.... uggg

 

[DammitJanet]

Okay answering questions one at a time.

Cory's cell phone. He does get one of those "Obama Phones" that get 250 minutes a month but it doesnt get signal out where he lives. He lives in this really odd little triangular shaped zone where almost no coverage is. He uses that as his emergency phone when he is away from home. I added them to my family plan for Xmas because I could get them a free phone...smart phone and it would only cost me $38 including insurance. I have told him to put back the hundred dollars that he will need to pay the copay on the insurance claim. I didnt get him a cheap phone. It was on sale for Black Friday and it was one that just came out.

I do not think this is Cory doing this, its Mandy. Cory hardly gets to use the phone at all. She has the phone all day long while Cory is with his dad at work. I could pull the logs and see when the calls were made and prove it to them if I need to but my bill shows which number the calls fall under so that isnt an issue. I am really proud of them for not attempting to go over minutes. They can check that on their phones and it tells them. None of us have come anywhere near our limits.

I do think we are having a lot of passive aggressive stuff going on in my house right now. The downright aggressive stuff left when Cory left but if he walked in at any point, the aggression would turn on him in a second. He walks in and feels the tension and can practically see the waves pointed at me and says things like "mistakes happen, Im sure you guys can figure it out without all the yelling." That just infuriates his dad more.

 

[susiestar]

Janet, want to make Billy WANT to cook? I will send you some of my dad's "recipes" that the dog didn't just refuse to eat - the smell of them made her CRY. And she didn't live in the house (she hated being in the house more than an hour or so unless it was freezing out).

I have been thinking on Tony's yelling, etc....

Is it possible that he wanted Buck to come because he thinks if he helps Buck and then the health problems he is having get to the point he can't work then Buck will help him? All his talk about what brothers/family do made me wonder. I am sure he is terrified about his health and what will happen if he cannot work. So maybe he thinks that having Buck there iwll mean that at some point Buck will be "on his feet" and will stay and help out the way you and Tony helped him. While this won't happen in reality, it may help explain why Tony was so adamant about Buck coming to stay with you.

I am so sorry Tony is having so many health problems. I hope you can get him to the ER to get xrays and to figure out what is going on. (((((hugs)))))

 

[tiredmommy]

So what you're saying, Janet, is that Cory lives in the NC Triangle?

Makes sense to me!

 

[DammitJanet]

Lol