I think the days are getting numbered on the me or Buck situation.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Feb 24, 2013.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    He is starting to get very rude and condescending when he is talking to me...more so when Tony isnt around but when he slips up around Tony, Tony turns it into a joke. I dont find it at all funny. I think one part of it is that he takes all of his pain pills at one time and then he is in withdrawal for the rest of the day so he is irritable as all get out. No matter how much I preach to him to take them correctly every 6 hours and they will work better, he wont listen to me. I just couldnt possibly know right?

    Today he started in on telling me what a magnificent and extraordinary wonderful chef he had once been and how he had cooked for such important people who begged to meet him. (The man cant make pancakes) Oddly none of the places he told me he worked were restaurants other than fast food joints..lol.

    I asked him a question about something that a real chef would know and he couldnt answer it, he said...well I just call it sauce. LOL. He had no idea what hollandaise sauce was. What kind of chef doesnt know that?

    Well tonight I went into my room to watch a show on TV and Tony and Buck stayed in the family room watching some fishing show. When Tony came to bed, Buck started washing dishes. About 10 or so I went out to get some drink and he turned on me and practically bit my head off and told me that "all of you people who put plates here on the counter should scrape your plates off in the trash can. It doesnt take 2 seconds. I dont like having to take that extra time and your dang lucky Im even willing to wash your stupid dishes. If you dont start scraping your dishes I wont."

    I told him, Buck, scraping the dishes into the trashcan causes the dogs to jump up and turn the trashcan over because they smell the food in it. And no one takes the trash out every night. He swore he took the trash out 99% of the time every night. I called him a fat liar.

    Oh and something else that happened recently. I have no clue if I posted about his guitar but when I made him get rid of his mattresses because of the bed bugs he was insistent that he had brought a guitar to our house and someone had stolen it because it was no longer where he put it because he put it on top of his mattresses. Well Tony told him he remembered him putting it in the trunk of his car but never remembered him bringing it in the house. We all figured it ended up going off with him on his trip to SC and something happened to it there.

    Well last Monday late afternoon after we took Keyana home...(she went home about 3) Billy and I decided to go to the store at about 4. We got home about 5 and Buck was out at his car with all his doors open as well as his trunk. We thought it odd but then so is he. That evening after Tony came home he started pacing up and down our hallway running his hands through his hair all agitated going "someone has stolen my big blue pillow! Someone went in my room and took my big sleeping pillow, I need my big pillow!" LOL. Now none of us would even tough his pillow for one thing and we all have plenty of pillows of our own. Tony and each have one body pillow ourselves. He was irate. He couldnt find his pillow...lol. The next day he found it in his trunk. Now that next day was the same day that I had him cleaning...the day he found his pillow. He ended up sitting in his car for quite awhile and must have found it then. He said he found it in his trunk.

    Well on Wednesday he went wild cleaning my living room and he tossed a very important picture of my father over in the corner of my living room without much care. I dont think he even looked at it because if he even thought about it, he would have put it with the other pictures. Instead he just chucked it over on a pile of boxes. Well....lo and behold along with my fathers picture, his guitar was also put there and I know it hasnt been there long because Tony put a grapevine wreath he made there about 2 weeks ago there and it was under the guitar and I put a snowsuit for McKenzie there about 3 weeks ago...lol. Its also right next to where I change the dogs potty pads every time I need to. I couldnt have missed seeing it. I think he put it there when he found his pillow and was going to see how long it took us to find it and then say it had been there all along. Unfortunately for him, I go to that corner fairly often....lol. He just didnt know that!

    If this stuff keeps up, I will be showing him the door one day soon while Tony is at work. He already took Tony's phone charger into his room without even asking which caused Tony and I to get into a fight about where it was.
  2. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    You have your hands full Janet! I admire you for all you can handle and stay sane. I have reached a saturated point and I don't deal with the aggraviation well anymore. Maybe I never did!
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL....he just got back from his mental health appointment and he told her he is having such a difficult time not getting irritated and angry with people in his life! His life is just so tough you know. After all, he has to do so much. He is so put upon and his life is so unfair. I have a feeling they have dxd him with something fairly significant because he is supposed to go see the psychiatrist tomorrow for the psychiatrist to examine him for medication (hehehe) and they are going to send a van out to pick him up a couple of times a week for therapy! I asked him if they gave him a diagnoses and he said well they said he was chronic. That is his favorite word so I pushed further. Seems they said something about depression, being dependent. I think they dxd him with major depression and dependent personality disorder. Maybe even some sort of anger disorder since he made such a big thing about having so much irritatibility....lol.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Well... you might agree with this one at least...

  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Billy came in later and told me some of the things Buck told him he told the lady. I have a feeling one of the reasons they want him to come in so often to talk in these groups is so they can listen to him more and really assess where he is truly and what is just him talking. Well what he says is what he means because he really isnt that smart. He told them about seeing faces in rocks and then he went in there and talked about all his pain. He told them he thinks all the time about wanting to die!!!!! He also said that he finds it hard to not get mad and hold his temper when around people who make him mad like the people he lives with...lol. Okay, now, Im not exactly a mental health professional but it wouldnt surprise me if they listen to him rant on for a few weeks especially when the doctors wont give him better drugs and I annoy him and he goes in there ticked off and he gets mad and they all see exactly what I have been talking about without the blinders on that Tony has. He may just end up in a psychiatric placement. z

    It does tick me off to hear him talk about nut doctor considering he is now going to be a "nut case" himself. Eventually I will point that out.

    I learned the other day that he has only started having issues with his leg/hip about 18 to 2 years ago. Before that he was fine. I jumped on that like white on rice. I told him...Oh, that explains why you whine like a baby constantly about your pain. People in the first year or two are always complaining like its the end of the world and think their pain is the absolute the worst it could be. Its always a level 10. Trust me, after 15 years in, phhht, you learn to roll with the punches. You learn that you cant constantly moan and groan because no one is listening. It does no good to keep whining because it simply doesnt help. What was a 10 in the beginning is what you dream of living with everyday....on medication. A 10, simply doesnt happen to someone who is a chronic pain patient unless you are dying. He thinks he is a 10. He isnt.

    He looked at me like I was nuts. I told him I had been dealing with chronic pain since 1997. Really further but thats the date I will take. Its the day I had a head on car accident. You do learn to manage the pain without constantly burdening everyone around you without it. I am in pain everyday but I dont sit out on the couch all night and talk about it. You can tell because I need help getting up and down, I ask someone to fix my drink instead of me getting up from the couch if someone else is in the kitchen, or I do more than one thing when Im up so I dont have to make several trips up and down. I grimace. The only time I make a noise is if something is really bad.

    I dont quite think he believed me that I could have ever have been as bad as him..or felt as bad. I did. I literally told Tony we had to find someone to figure out what was wrong with me or I was going to drive my car under a semi truck. I was hurting that badly. I didnt care which one because I was so tired of being told everything looked normal. Normal whatever, I was in constant pain and could hardly move. Something was wrong. If someone couldnt fix it, I would. Thats the day someone started listening to me because he went with me and I wasnt considered just some hysterical woman.