I thought I should post an update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by tawnya, Dec 29, 2009.

  1. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

    I've been lurking again the past few months, and it's been many months since I've posted. My non-difficult child life has been turned upside down in the last six months, but I will post about that on the WC.

    Back to difficult child, I don't know if I have updated my profile, but she is now 24 yrs. old. She is living on her own, well with her boyfriend, but not in our house. She lives with her boyfriend that she met over the internet. Ugh. They both are working, but the other shoe always drops.

    She has been evicted twice from different apartments. boyfriend's truck got reposessed because they didn't/couldn't pay the bill. This was especially bad because boyfriend was taking her to and from work every day. And, he works about 30 miles from here. So, no ride for difficult child, and boyfriend went back to live with his mom and dad to have a ride to work. He also has a 16 yr. old daughter that lives with gma and grpa. That we have never seen?

    We had a "spare" car that husband paid $500 for. So, he loaned it to them, and the head gasket blew out...Sooo, now husband is taking her back and forth to work and getting the car fixed. He went yesterday, and she told him she didn't have to work (6am), so he left. Then, today she called and asked why he didn't come. So, no call, no show for difficult child, and I know she's already been written up for not doing her job right a couple of time. Who knows how long it will last. It's hard for her to get a job because she works with a job coach, and there are just so many jobs she can work around here.

    I swear husband will never get it. We are behind on the mortgage payments, and dangerously close to losing the house, but he is fixing their (our) car? I know he wants to help, but this time last year he was paying her fines for bad checks she wrote for pizza! It cost more that $1000....for pizza! Maybe we can live with difficult child and boyfriend and tear up their place for once? And at least eat their pizza. That would be funny.

    Granted, she has come a long way with the maturity, but still a long way off for the real world. And so much entitlement, still. She was griping at husband the other day because her phone got shut off and he wouldn't/couldn't pay it. At least she's not living here any more.

    It still makes me want to scream...sigh...but now I just nod my head while he gripes about it. Every once in awhile, I will tell him that you teach people how to treat you. Most times, though, I just dream about being on a warm island with white sand, and a little drink with an umbrella in my hand while he is ranting and raving. I guess that is detachment, yes?

    Oh, well. Obla dee obla da, life goes on....

  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Ku ku ca chu.....I am the walrus....lol

    Thanks for (I think) the update. ROFL about living with them and eating pizza....make sure you gripe it's not a supreme. :tongue:
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yeah, your ending has me humming, too, Tanya. la la la la life goes on....

    Your profile says she's 27 but your post says 24?

    Thanks for the update.

  4. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

    Thanks, Suz. That was a typo. She is 27.

  5. mmarti

    mmarti New Member

    I'm very new here but also have 27 yo difficult child (male). I was struck by your comment about how far your difficult child has come and mine too is so much improved from his days as an adolescent but still not totally able to maneuver successfully in the real world. He too has a bit of a sense of entitlement. I'm reading about detachment (the links on Suz' signature) and beginning to get my head where it needs to be...I'm encouraged by many comments, your included, that lead me to believe everyone continues to practice this...thanks for your update...
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Good to hear from you, sorry things are not going better. sometimes they just don't see how "helping" ends up hurting, these spouses and kids of ours. I get it here too.

    Sending hugs and hoping this year is better for you.