For many years I had a very difficult child, the same story we all have, mainly heartbreak and sadness. I first came here in 2005, we had a restraining order against him, he was 18. Two years ago he got married, he has kids, I was happy for getting his life together. But, my heart is so hardened. I have no expectations for any positive interaction because I am always disappointed. Expectations minus reality equals disappointment. He lies, steals, cheats and cons me even now. Even though he is an upstanding citizen to most, not to us. My husband always thinks the best, and is terribly saddened and disappointed always because he thinks Difficult Child changed. He even cosigned a car loan!!! Immediately we got calls saying he doesn't pay, ruining our credit, it's a 5 year loan! Also the car has 100,000 miles on it, who buys that? His wife wanted a big enough car to fit the stroller! Also, they just added their friend to the insurance on it. Really! All of my other son's xbox 360 games are gone from house, at least 20, I know Difficult Child stole them. This was all recently before he moved 12 hours away a few months ago! HOORAY for me, he needed to be far away. They came back for a visit and he hit up husband for $100 to get home with, he is such a con man, always trying to get something over on us. Last Christmas, they came over, dumped every gift in a bag after quickly opening,without even opening the cards or acknowledging the giver, they stayed 10 minutes and left. plus his wife put on Facebook the gift I bought her...she stated it was from him, he told her he paid for it, I just picked it up,..uh no....I picked it out, bought it, wrapped it..anyhow then later she made a snarky comment about how we didn't get her a nice enough gift. I never opened my mouth to start trouble with Difficult Child and his wife, let her think it was from him. This is always, stuff like this. I gave him my brothers (who died) truck, which he promptly sold for peanuts and kept the money, I thought he would cherish it. There's way more, you get the idea, it's constant. So, they invited us for Thanksgiving. I feel like I have no interest in going there, I feel like I have no feelings at all. husband says I'm rotten. Because I know that I am only good for what I'm good for. I am broken, my heart is, from this one child. I feel so differently about my other children who actually care about me, and don't use me, steal from me, or con me. I am actually quite sick with a cold. I wonder if I will always be waiting for him to scumbag me or if I can ever forgive him and enjoy being around him. I want to, but can't help being so unfeeling and cold. I think it's PTSD. If I stay away I'll be the bad guy.