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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 673476" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Upallnight. </p><p></p><p>I know how this feels and how hard it is.</p><p></p><p> I would not allow it. I would ask your dear husband to go to family therapy so that you are both on the same page. You should not be victimized by your child, nor should you be vilified if you want to protect yourself. Protecting yourself from his bad acts is the best thing you can do. For him. </p><p>You are not in the business of subsidizing every </p><p>Tom, Dick and Harry. I would be offended too. And I would stop it.</p><p> I think you are protecting yourself. And smart. There is nothing wrong with you for doing that. </p><p></p><p>If it were me the first thing I would do is to get on the same page as my husband.</p><p>I would try to get a grip on my self-blame and decide what limits you want to put into place. I might want to <em>rethink paying for insurance and any other thing</em>.</p><p></p><p>I would not do anything or go anywhere that does not feel right. If there are questions, I would tell the truth in a direct but not inflammatory way.</p><p></p><p>Most of us have been where you are. It is not your fault. Keep posting. It helps.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 673476, member: 18958"] Hi Upallnight. I know how this feels and how hard it is. I would not allow it. I would ask your dear husband to go to family therapy so that you are both on the same page. You should not be victimized by your child, nor should you be vilified if you want to protect yourself. Protecting yourself from his bad acts is the best thing you can do. For him. You are not in the business of subsidizing every Tom, Dick and Harry. I would be offended too. And I would stop it. I think you are protecting yourself. And smart. There is nothing wrong with you for doing that. If it were me the first thing I would do is to get on the same page as my husband. I would try to get a grip on my self-blame and decide what limits you want to put into place. I might want to [I]rethink paying for insurance and any other thing[/I]. I would not do anything or go anywhere that does not feel right. If there are questions, I would tell the truth in a direct but not inflammatory way. Most of us have been where you are. It is not your fault. Keep posting. It helps. COPA [/QUOTE]
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