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I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 660623" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes, Thank you Cedar.</p><p>The change has begun. At least the appearance of such.</p><p></p><p>First, he is acting conciliatory, almost respectful. He is attempting to back down so as to not argue every little thing.</p><p></p><p>M thought it would not be a good idea, because the tile is costly and fragile and the home owner is even more delicate. We came up with an alternate plan. That he work here in the house for designated hard jobs and if the work has been completed satisfactorily, I will pay his train ticket to the Big City. Fine and Dandy.</p><p></p><p>Then, he came to us and said the following: I have been thinking a lot about this. I know the Big City has great weather and it is beautiful and by the sea. But who do I really have there? Those things, in themselves do not make a life. They are only diversions.</p><p></p><p>I want to be near my family. That and working towards my goals consistently is what will make my life better.</p><p></p><p>I do have goals. (Which he had to qualify a bit because he fears the end of the world is coming by September.) I cannot squander whatever time and energy I may have by running here and there for no good reason. I think it would be better for me to focus upon goals and to make choices based upon where I have support and commitments. What do you think?</p><p></p><p>I said nothing. M, my SO, responded thusly: I for one, would want my family near me. To me, family unity was the most important thing. So I understand your sentiments and share your priorities.</p><p></p><p>I kept quiet.</p><p></p><p>Even if he hired a famous speech writer, and even if it is a manipulation, and self-serving (after all he needs us as much as we need him) he deserves credit for the sense to give this speech now. <em>He never did before. </em>I want to hope that this shows improved judgment and control.</p><p>I mentioned to my SO, M, that my son seemed on a relatively even keel, with more self-control.</p><p></p><p>M responded that that could be because he has not been using marijuana lately. My son had told him he has not used marijuana in about 8 or 9 days and that it is no longer a priority.</p><p></p><p> . <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/beautifulthing.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":beautifulthing:" title="beautiful thing :beautifulthing:" data-shortname=":beautifulthing:" /></p><p></p><p>Now he still has not told me this. But I know when he is high and I know he has not used for the past few days. By my own eyes, I know this.</p><p></p><p>My son has not stopped extolling the medicinal virtues of marijuana. But deeds mean more than words, and I am grateful that he is showing himself that he does not need the weed or any other drug to be stable or feel content and secure.</p><p>Thank you, SWOT. Do you think that is what is responsible for our upswing? I think it must be.</p><p>PASA I loved this story. It offers so much hope. I give credit to his parents.</p><p>Thank you Tanya. I needed that.</p><p>______</p><p></p><p>Every mother and father on this forum needs and deserves one better day. I got mine today.</p><p></p><p>I do not need a string of good days to maintain hope. Just once in a while.</p><p></p><p>Thank you very much, everybody. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wine:" title="wine :wine:" data-shortname=":wine:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 660623, member: 18958"] Yes, Thank you Cedar. The change has begun. At least the appearance of such. First, he is acting conciliatory, almost respectful. He is attempting to back down so as to not argue every little thing. M thought it would not be a good idea, because the tile is costly and fragile and the home owner is even more delicate. We came up with an alternate plan. That he work here in the house for designated hard jobs and if the work has been completed satisfactorily, I will pay his train ticket to the Big City. Fine and Dandy. Then, he came to us and said the following: I have been thinking a lot about this. I know the Big City has great weather and it is beautiful and by the sea. But who do I really have there? Those things, in themselves do not make a life. They are only diversions. I want to be near my family. That and working towards my goals consistently is what will make my life better. I do have goals. (Which he had to qualify a bit because he fears the end of the world is coming by September.) I cannot squander whatever time and energy I may have by running here and there for no good reason. I think it would be better for me to focus upon goals and to make choices based upon where I have support and commitments. What do you think? I said nothing. M, my SO, responded thusly: I for one, would want my family near me. To me, family unity was the most important thing. So I understand your sentiments and share your priorities. I kept quiet. Even if he hired a famous speech writer, and even if it is a manipulation, and self-serving (after all he needs us as much as we need him) he deserves credit for the sense to give this speech now. [I]He never did before. [/I]I want to hope that this shows improved judgment and control. I mentioned to my SO, M, that my son seemed on a relatively even keel, with more self-control. M responded that that could be because he has not been using marijuana lately. My son had told him he has not used marijuana in about 8 or 9 days and that it is no longer a priority. . :beautifulthing: Now he still has not told me this. But I know when he is high and I know he has not used for the past few days. By my own eyes, I know this. My son has not stopped extolling the medicinal virtues of marijuana. But deeds mean more than words, and I am grateful that he is showing himself that he does not need the weed or any other drug to be stable or feel content and secure. Thank you, SWOT. Do you think that is what is responsible for our upswing? I think it must be. PASA I loved this story. It offers so much hope. I give credit to his parents. Thank you Tanya. I needed that. ______ Every mother and father on this forum needs and deserves one better day. I got mine today. I do not need a string of good days to maintain hope. Just once in a while. Thank you very much, everybody. :wine: [/QUOTE]
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I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
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