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I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 660676" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Update: We had a slight deviation. We corrected it immediately and firmly.</p><p></p><p>The gist: our rules, not yours. Accept them or leave.</p><p></p><p>These are the rules. Any questions? Good.</p><p></p><p>There is no agreement or commitment between us, that you can stay here. It is one day at a time. You are going to the big city tomorrow and you will know if your plan will pan out. If it does not, you can develop another plan when you return.</p><p></p><p>Repeat: There is no agreement or commitment between us that you can stay here.</p><p></p><p>Repeat: Our rules, not yours. Accept them or leave.</p><p></p><p>My son has already learned the refrain. "I know....Accept them or leave. You don't have to keep repeating it."</p><p></p><p>Thank you for understanding I said, smiling sweetly.</p><p></p><p>Son: "I hope you are not being sarcastic."</p><p></p><p>Oh no, I replied, and I approached him with a hug.</p><p></p><p>Grateful, only grateful that you understand.</p><p></p><p>He has been working all day. Picking up dog poop, mowing the lawn, watering. He is now cleaning the windows inside and out, and dusting all of the blinds. The agreement is that we will buy his train ticket if the work is done well and completely.</p><p></p><p>I will never again be a victim of my child in my own home. I will never again allow myself to hide in my room, capitulating to my son.</p><p></p><p>However hard it has been to be separated from him, not knowing where or how he was, I know I can do it. And I will do so again, if I need to. But I hope I do not.</p><p></p><p>Thank you everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 660676, member: 18958"] Update: We had a slight deviation. We corrected it immediately and firmly. The gist: our rules, not yours. Accept them or leave. These are the rules. Any questions? Good. There is no agreement or commitment between us, that you can stay here. It is one day at a time. You are going to the big city tomorrow and you will know if your plan will pan out. If it does not, you can develop another plan when you return. Repeat: There is no agreement or commitment between us that you can stay here. Repeat: Our rules, not yours. Accept them or leave. My son has already learned the refrain. "I know....Accept them or leave. You don't have to keep repeating it." Thank you for understanding I said, smiling sweetly. Son: "I hope you are not being sarcastic." Oh no, I replied, and I approached him with a hug. Grateful, only grateful that you understand. He has been working all day. Picking up dog poop, mowing the lawn, watering. He is now cleaning the windows inside and out, and dusting all of the blinds. The agreement is that we will buy his train ticket if the work is done well and completely. I will never again be a victim of my child in my own home. I will never again allow myself to hide in my room, capitulating to my son. However hard it has been to be separated from him, not knowing where or how he was, I know I can do it. And I will do so again, if I need to. But I hope I do not. Thank you everybody. [/QUOTE]
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I told my son to leave again. After 24 hours. What am I doing wrong?
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