I didn't go the previous two times so this is the first I'd talked to him since the day he was taken into detention. I had rec'd a letter from him a few days ago saying he missed us, he was sorry, that he was confused about why he had two upcoming court dates, and that he hoped I'd visit. Today, he said he had gone to the pastor and asked to speak with him because I hadn't come either day to visit and hadn't answered his letter. He said he talked to the pastor about everything- his father, his previous incarceration, the way he'd been so curious about going out with friends to party, etc. I hoped the pastor said something to help difficult child, but who knows at this point. He says he plans to just stay away from all friends/peers for months- at least until he's off parole, and he'll just talk to them at school. I told him I thought it would be more effective and better all the way around to develop friendships with kids who aren't the quick and easy type and walking down the wrong path. IOW, it usually doesn't work very well to plan to stay away from the "bad" if you aren't making effort and replacing it with "good" because you have to have somethings and friends. I asked if he'd planned to come home and just soak everything up as long as it lasted when he was in Department of Juvenile Justice and he said no, that he just wanted to try certain things, then got caught up in it, then decided he didn't care. I told him again that he had to make his own choices about what he wants in his life, but if he didn't care there is nothing anyone can do. I hope another 10 days in there gets him further along than this. He did say that before, the other kids he'd been incarcerated with just sat around and talked about having fun and how to get by with stuff when they got released. He said the boys he's in there with this time are really wanting to change- he knows a few from previous incarcerations (what a way to meet "friends", huh?) and that they are starting to get tired of coming back and are talking about really changing and moving on with their lives. TG! I hope many of them mean it. I think Janet mentioned something like that before and PO had also told me that a lot of these kids eventually really do get tired of the revolving door and start making real effort to pursue a better plan. As all of us here, I just hope my son gets there before he loses more and more opportunity. I told him that his def attny was not going to ask for his release on the monitoring program this week in order to ask the judge for release on time served next week. He seemed to understand that was a good idea. I didn't tell him that this was also PO's plan. I still think it's a good idea for him to sit there sweating a little more. Even though none of us know how a judge might decide, since def attny, PO, and myself are in agreement about difficult child coming home with this time served and given another chance, the judge will more than likely approve that. He might add in a couple of more weekend times but I doubt he'll recommit difficult child on this. I just didn't want difficult child to get too sure about that.