I wanted to snatch her up by her dumb blonde head

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by EStephens, Aug 3, 2012.

  1. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    difficult child and I went into the grocery store for groceries. He hates crowds and just town in general so he was already stimming as we walked in the doors.
    We saw a friend of difficult child with his dad. We spoke briefly and difficult child actually was almost involved in the conversation. difficult child asked the kiddo of he would like to come to our house and play a new game that he had received for his birthday. The kid slowly looked at me, then difficult child and said,"I wish I could but my mom says you are a freak now and I can't hang out with you."
    I grabbed difficult child's hand and walked away. The kid's mom was someone I thought was my friend.
    After I thought I had cooled off, I called the heifer and at least she was honest and admitted to saying that and believing it. She said she loved hanging out with me and pcs but difficult child was just too much for her and she didn't want her kids to start picking up on his actions. I informed the heifer that Asperger's was not contagious,but stupidity was already rampant in her home and she should be more worried about that.
    I know I need to call and apologize for being rude. I am just not quite ready to.

    difficult child has been on a mission googling what the term freak means. He is handling it much better then his momma is.
    Advice please???
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would be so beyond ticked!!!! I think she deserved what you said to her! I'm sorry this happened. She is definitely not teaching her son to be a very tolerant person. I can't tell you how angry I am on your behalf!
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I don't think you owe her an apology unless she is willing to apologize for calling your son a freak and teaching her kids to call him the same thing. She "wronged" first so the first apology should be hers.

    So sorry you are having to deal with this. It really hoovers that a "friend" would treat your son the same way opinionated, "perfect" people do. I really feel for you.

    {{{{HUGS}}}} to you and difficult child.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
    That quote by Albert Einstein fits your story. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a small mind.
  5. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Thanks guys! I appreciate the encouragement. She just definitely scratched herself from the Christmas Card List.
  6. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh, hon - this was genius! ;)

    Seriously, though - I'm so sorry that you had this come at you from a "friend." It has never ceased to amaze me the things that come out of people's mouths, and the reactions to various disabilities.

    Development of rhino skin is essential to parenting a kid with differences. I know it's so hurtful to hear this kind of junk, but..... some people just aren't going to get it - parents, friends, family, and total strangers. on the other hand, sometimes you will be surprised by the unexpected people who *do* get it.

    I'm absolutely incensed any parent would label another child a "freak." Are you kidding me? It just burns my toast that a parent would encourage that kind of intolerance. At the same time, I feel sorry for these kinds of people, because one never knows when fate or karma or just plain old bad luck may strike and their "perfect" lives may become somewhat less than perfect - they are so unprepared for differences.

    Glad difficult child is handling it okay. Sometimes people just really inhale rapidly.
  7. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    This is sickening!!!!!
    She deserved your anger.....Hope she also realized how much she hurt you!!!
    Like my husband said this morning: Our difficult child's are all Gods creations....and other people need to remember this!
    Lots of hugs!
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I loved your response to her.

    Freak. SHE is the true freak. GRRRRRRR. OK, I'm passing a bit of judgment but DANG.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry!
    I'm trying to think back on all the things I've said about my kids' friends and thankfully, I don't think I've ever said, "freak." "Stoned," "Spoiled," maybe even loser, but argh ... how painful.
    Kids repeat things. We all need to remember that.
    But in this case, it's actually good that the kid repeated it and got it out in the open. Better that the mom get her education elsewhere, if she is so inclined, while you fight more imporant battles.
    Many, many hugs.
  10. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    It's so painful when adults say things like that and their kids pick up on it. I'm sorry for your pain.
  11. I think you did a great job of setting her straight and you definitely do not owe her an apology. She is an adult and even if she didn't want her children hanging out with your difficult child any more then she could have come up with a different way to handle it than that.

    She is the one who owes you an apology.

    Sorry you and difficult child had to hear that but you handled yourself well.
  12. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    What happened to you and your son is awful, just miserable. I guess another way to look at it is, at least she owned up to it - she could've lied, but she did cop to it. So maybe it was a teachable moment. We're adults reading this and it's bad...I feel so much worse for your son because he was just being nice and he was blindsided for no reason. I hope he's OK now.
  13. PlainJane

    PlainJane Every dog has his day....

    You do not owe this woman an apology!! I'm furious at that witch and I don't even know her. This kind of thing makes me so angry because you can talk until you're blue in the face, and it will probably never sink in to her thick skull...
  14. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    What on earth do you owe this woman an apology for? She said that your son is a freak and she taught her children the same thing. So much for compassion and teaching kids that everyone is different and everyone has special needs of one kind or another and that everyone deserves to be respected. You owe her nothing!

    I'm so sorry that this was said to your son. That is a terrible thing for a child, any child, to hear.