I was diagnosed with ODD as a child and have a healthy adult life now. Ask me anything.

[mindinggaps]

Some of you may know me and my story, but I've created this post to encourage anyone seeking advice or guidance to ask questions. Feel free to ask me anything about about my experiences, what it is like to live with ODD, treatment plans, how to best manage children who've been diagnosed with this disorder, etc.

Brief Background: I was first diagnosed with ODD as a 4 year old child. Growing up my symptoms included explosive tantrums, violence, rage, lying, refusal to obey authority, impulsive actions and more. I was first medicated at age 4 and have been on psychiatric medications to control my symptoms ever since. As an adult, my official diagnoses are: Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), anxiety, depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I am currently living a high quality life with a partner and stable job. My conditions are well controlled with a cocktail of medications and therapy - if you'd like to know specifics, please ask. Currently, I am largely symptom free but am reliant on treatment to keep stable. Without treatment I can suffer from explosive rage, poor emotional regulation and many other dangerous symptoms.

Ask me anything!

 

[lovemysons]

Mindinggaps. I’m so glad you’re here with us as so many parents just starting down this path with their child don’t know what to think or where to start. Your lifetime experience with mental illness and medication is invaluable! I wish we had had someone like you here when my sons were teenagers.

I have Bipolar Disorder. I was not diagnosed until I was 40 years old after having a psychotic breakdown that almost lead to my death. It was very horrifying. I had visual hallucinations of seeing the devil, I heard a woman’s voice become a man’s, I heard God telling me to do things from the radio, smelled the air turn into a burning furnace and thought it was the end of the world, thought my husband was taking me to the edge of town to bury me and many other paranoid delusions. I had to be hospitalized for a week until they “brought me back” with medication. I have been taking lots of medication ever since.

Before the breakdown happened I thought I was just depressed and had anxiety most of my life. I got on antidepressants 2 years prior to the breakdown and looking back I learned that what happened next was me going manic. I met a woman on Facebook and thought she and I could write a book traveling around the country interviewing people about, of all things, Bipolar disorder lol since my sons had been diagnosed with it.
I started drinking on this write a book experience after being sober since I was 25 as I am a recovering alcoholic.
My husband could have also divorced me due to my behavior at that time when I got manic from taking an antidepressant (Lexapro) without a mood stabilizer and not knowing I had Bipolar disorder.

I wish my mother had known or investigated what was wrong with me when I was a little girl and would rage. I just got called a spoiled brat. I became the black sheep in my family. I started drinking alone in my room at age 13. I was a very depressed child.

Anyway, I’m glad you’re here and willing to share your journey with so many.
Also glad your journey seems to be successful due to your medication compliance.
Congratulations on a happy ending.
LMS

 

[Copabanana]

I so admire those who tell the truth about their lives. When somebody stands up true, we all have that opportunity. Only that way can we be whole. I was feeling sad and vulnerable today. Reading your post lms reminded me that I am okay. It's okay to be vulnerable and afraid and sad.

 

[Copabanana]

Ask me anything!

I only faced my son's mental illness and issues after he was 18 and I had no control over getting him to treatment. Before that time he seemed fine. He had psychological help but the very competent therapist only once commented on potential Asperger's diagnosis but later said my son had grown out of it. My son was anxious and hyper but did not act out until late adolescence but mildly. We got along. In fact, we were very close.

What I wanted to say mg was your parents did a marvelous job. My son lacks insight and self-awareness about his condition and is NOT amenable to treatment. If I had been able to establish a partnership with my son about mental health treatment (i.e. medication) maybe our lives would have been different.

The only thing I can do now is set boundaries. He does not understand. While he knows I love him he doesn't understand why I don't accept him like I did before.

I am so glad you're here on our forum. I would greatly miss you if you weren't.

 

[lovemysons]

Awww Copa…hugs sweetie.
Yes. It’s okay to feel sad, afraid and vulnerable. You’re human. Not God.

Own those feelings of yours. You’re allowed by everyone here. I love you and think you’re awesome! I’m glad you felt better about yourself after reading my post.
All of us here have come from a world of hurt. We should definitely say or do whatever we can to help make our fellow man or woman feel better about themselves…and maybe even about life in general.

Like I used to tell Jarod,
“To have a friend, you have to be a friend.”
Copa you have been that friend to me I have needed here on the board. Thank you.

Love,
LMS

 

[mindinggaps]

@lovemysons Thanks for sharing you story. From a treatment perspective, you bring up a very important point which everyone should know - SSRIs cannot be used to safely treat bipolar in isolation, they must be combined with mood stabilizers. For parents who have young children struggling with behavior issues, this is something they should keep in mind since SSRIs, particularly Prozac and Zoloft are still used a first line treatment for children displaying signs of ODD. For many kids, like myself, they work absolute wonders but in some cases they actually make things much worse and this can in fact be a very sign that the child may have bipolar.

@Copabanana I am grateful to have received excellent treatment and support at an early age and my parents definitely did their best, just like you did. I feel that the situation with your son was more challenging in many ways. When issues appear early in life it can be devastating for parents, however, the advantage is that there is much more time to try to achieve balance, find treatment that works and build in things like medication compliance from a young age. Your son did not have issues until much later, which is very hard - once symptoms appear in teens there is very little time to course correct, adolescents can be resistant to treatment and things going wrong can have worse consequences. When parents post here feeling hopeless that there young child is out of control, I always encourage them to look on the bright side - you have time to solve the problem and early intervention can make a huge difference for longer term outcomes. You did not have this opportunity with your son.

One of the main reasons I have succeeded in life is certainly due to medication, but I think it's easier to achieve compliance in young children compared to adolescents. I was first medicated with liquid Prozac at age 4 - it was not an option, it was added to the beverage I consumed at breakfast, which was encouraged by the psychiatrist. The results were astounding. Prior to medication I was violent, had extreme meltdowns, would try to run away and could not be around other children. With an appropriate dosage, I was largely symptom free and integrated in with my peers. The most important point though was that I personally felt much better - I could control my emotions and felt better on the medication. I hated missing doses and so from an early age, I understood that medication could help me and allow me to succeed. I was able to develop trust that those administering medication were doing so to help me. As I grew, the dosage of liquid Prozac was gradually increased and by the time I was old enough to be a part of the process, I already understood the importance of medication and how/when things needed to be adjusted. I do believe this is something that is easier to achieve early in life. By the time children become adolescents, getting them to have a positive view is much harder. It is akin in some ways to children with diabetes - they know they need insulin from a young age and those treated early can understand their medications are necessary for survival.

 

[lovemysons]

Yes Mindinggaps the risk of Mania is extremely high for a person with Bipolar disorder who is only using an antidepressant alone without a mood stabilizer.

When I got manic I wasn’t sleeping, I was exhibiting risky behavior, I had rapid speech and a strong sex drive. I was in trouble!

There is a movie about a woman who didn’t know she had bipolar disorder (like her brother who was less functional) till her life spun out of control and she became a high class call girl. I think the movie is called, “Fast Girl” and there is also a book she wrote about her life experience.
My husband began watching this movie one morning and called me into the room and said, “That was you.”

Turned my good girl value system inside out. I had lost all control of myself. Of course this was also after I had let my sons out of control teenage behaviors get the best of me and had temporarily lost my faith in God.

Thank God I was restored to sanity and that I have a husband who loved me so and was willing to stand by my side through thick and thin. I would be so lost without that man.

LMS

 

[Nethialo]

Hey folks! If you’re curious about what it’s like living with ODD or have questions about treatments and managing symptoms, just ask. I was diagnosed with ODD when I was 4 and have been on medications and therapy ever since. I’ve got a lot of personal experience dealing with everything from tantrums to managing my symptoms as an adult.