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I was feeling strong!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 723266" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome Lou Lou.</p><p></p><p>Without knowing any specifics, age of your daughter, drug abuse, homelessness, mental illness, abuse to you, etc....it's a bit more difficult to offer support.</p><p></p><p>However, as you can see, you are not alone. All of us here have troubled adult kids who for one reason or another have gone off the rails. For starters, you might read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. If you've been enabling your adult daughter, you might read Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie, it's an excellent reference for us parents. If your daughter has mental or emotional issues, you can contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they will provide YOU with information, support, resources and guidance as well as options for your daughter. They have very good courses for us parents to take.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter is a substance abuser, it is very helpful to attend Al Anon, Narc Anon or Families Anonymous meetings. Many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups.</p><p></p><p>In most towns, there are homeless shelters. You can google the ones in your area. In addition, most towns have food banks. Many of our adult kids refuse to follow the rules set forth for them in our homes and they either choose or we choose to make them leave. That's a very distressing scenario for all of us, but many times it becomes necessary as our kids can be manipulative, cruel and quite disrespectful to us. </p><p></p><p>If you have a history with your daughter which has been ongoing and you've requested her to leave, it may be prudent for you to hold fast to your decision. </p><p></p><p>Whatever the situation is, it is essential for you to get support for YOU. When we've been at this for a long time, we become depleted, exhausted and worn out from the demands that our troubled kids can relentlessly place on us. Many of us have private therapists which provide us with the ways in which WE can change so that WE can set boundaries, say no and take care of ourselves and remove ourselves from the hamster wheel our kids can drag us around on. </p><p></p><p>When you feel ready, provide a bit more info so we can better support you. It's very beneficial to write down our stories and share them with folks who get it on a deep level. We've all been there.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, hang in there, you're not alone, we understand how devastating this is. Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 723266, member: 13542"] Welcome Lou Lou. Without knowing any specifics, age of your daughter, drug abuse, homelessness, mental illness, abuse to you, etc....it's a bit more difficult to offer support. However, as you can see, you are not alone. All of us here have troubled adult kids who for one reason or another have gone off the rails. For starters, you might read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. If you've been enabling your adult daughter, you might read Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie, it's an excellent reference for us parents. If your daughter has mental or emotional issues, you can contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they will provide YOU with information, support, resources and guidance as well as options for your daughter. They have very good courses for us parents to take. If your daughter is a substance abuser, it is very helpful to attend Al Anon, Narc Anon or Families Anonymous meetings. Many parents here find solace in the 12 step groups. In most towns, there are homeless shelters. You can google the ones in your area. In addition, most towns have food banks. Many of our adult kids refuse to follow the rules set forth for them in our homes and they either choose or we choose to make them leave. That's a very distressing scenario for all of us, but many times it becomes necessary as our kids can be manipulative, cruel and quite disrespectful to us. If you have a history with your daughter which has been ongoing and you've requested her to leave, it may be prudent for you to hold fast to your decision. Whatever the situation is, it is essential for you to get support for YOU. When we've been at this for a long time, we become depleted, exhausted and worn out from the demands that our troubled kids can relentlessly place on us. Many of us have private therapists which provide us with the ways in which WE can change so that WE can set boundaries, say no and take care of ourselves and remove ourselves from the hamster wheel our kids can drag us around on. When you feel ready, provide a bit more info so we can better support you. It's very beneficial to write down our stories and share them with folks who get it on a deep level. We've all been there. In the meantime, hang in there, you're not alone, we understand how devastating this is. Be kind to yourself. Take care of you. I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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